


A Life lost = A Life gain

by sampsonknight



Category: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (TV 2003), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, Character Death Fix, Death, Depression, Drama, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Mpreg, Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-26
Updated: 2016-04-15
Packaged: 2018-03-15 07:28:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 25,425
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3438728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sampsonknight/pseuds/sampsonknight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(TMNT CC are AU based on 2003 version, the turtles are 23)<br/>Warning (Rated: T) Disturbing Content, Foul Language, M-Preg, Character Death,<br/><b>PLEASE UNDERSTAND THIS IS NOT A FLUFF/CHEERFUL STORY!!! IT'S REALLY AN HORROR!</b><br/>Please Don’t Read if you don’t like this stuff.<br/>Disclaimer: TMNT  isn’t mine and this is just a fan fiction writing. No money is being made on this story.<br/>Summary: Raph is devastated over the lost of his brother, lost in his confusion on how to move on Raph finds himself at a cross roads with choices he never thought he would have to make.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

An air thick and dens lingered there in the old worn down warehouse, even the bright moon of the night gave it no justice, making it a mirror image of some horrid fun house, filled with odd things, that were just plainly out of place, which was part of the reason the four brothers ventured to it in the dead of night.  
   
What seemed to be routine, not really out of the norm about this personal mission they were on, for some bizarre reason, still unknown to them all, the tables turned and things that should not have been… happened…  
   
Time stood still, like someone was mocking him, taunting him on the events that were to unfold before his eyes, as his ghostly figure stood there watching this, like it was some old recording preserved just for him.  
   
Breathing unsteadily, he could feel the cold chill that invaded his body, yet the heat of that moment burned deep into his soul, like an untamed fire.  
   
Nothing could change this, if only he wasn’t so reckless, so careless, such a hotheaded barbarian on a bloodthirsty rampage, swinging his deadly sai, with precision towards his enemy without thought or care.  
   
One, two, three bodies, laid there in his wake, unable to conquer him, unable to slow his berserk state, his eyes flaming golden yellow, consumed by pure hate and the hunger to destroy anything that dared to get into his way.  
   
He was the perfect assassin of the night, a turtle to be feared, yet where did it go wrong, when did he stepped over the line between a fully train ninja, skilled in many arts including to survive, to one that was no more than a rookie with such dumbfounded mistakes piling up on him?  
   
In the mere heat of battle somehow he managed to twist his foot, entangling it into some iron chains, unable to move or get himself free from his bonds.  
   
Frustrated the armor turtle, built like a tank, pulled at the chains with his strength in vain, feeling the breath of his enemies closing in, ready to strike him down.  
   
Five men came to him, with grins of satisfaction, wondering how to bring death to the freak that made them look like a fool, killing their own in the process.  
   
Biting his lip, not letting his fear to show, or how screwed he was, Raph’s eyes burned with desire, flashing a disgusted look at the pitiful humans, “BRING IT!” Raph roared as a challenge, as some of the men not waiting for the moment that the tides would turn on them, pounced on him swiftly armed with their weapons.  
   
Suddenly, in a haze of blue, metal slicing flesh was all that could be heard, not even the terrifying cries of the defeated scumbags could be heard, they were muffled, silenced by the crimson blood draining out of them.  
   
In glory Leo stood there tall, blades in hand, dripping with the blood of his victims, as the bodies drop around him like flies, “Raph, how many times do I have to tell you, stop rushing in!! We work as a team numskull!”  
   
Smirking Raph beamed, “Team? …Oh. I get yeah, you're annoyed that I just left right? Not taking the time to listen to your hour long pep talk, huh Fearless?”  
   
With a sigh, Leo shook his head annoyingly at his hothead brother, he just wished Raph wouldn’t be so reckless at times, “It wasn’t an hour long Raph… Besides, it sure the hell wasn’t some pep talk, it was about our plan of action.”  
   
“Sure, sure, plan of action… I thought it was just as simple as, we bust some heads, then ask questions later?” Raph leaned back, hissing under his breath, feeling the pain from his ankle as a reminder he was still stuck, he should really get the chains off before they bruised anymore.  
   
“Really Raph?! For once in your life can you be… you know, less you, less reckless and think with your head for once? I know you’re fully capable…” Leo lectured Raph, only to stop in mid speech, jumping with a startle, when some odd sound invaded his ear drums.  
   
Quickly both turtles turn their attention towards the sound, as their eyes widen in pure fear.  
   
Bursting down a door that led to where they were not sure of, was this armor suit, guns a blazing, like some action picture, so was this the thing Donnie was babbling about earlier, about that the foot having some new toy?!  
   
Not willing to find out or see what it was capable of, Raph still stuck, desperately grabbed the chains trying to get his foot free, while Leo not risking it, helped his younger brother, noticing his blade had no effect on the chains, what could they be made of to be able to resist his steal?  
   
“RAPH, LEO, GET OUT OF THERE!!” Donnie screamed, avoiding the death rays, which wasn’t some exaggeration by far, for everything that was hit by them designated instantly like it wasn’t there in the first place.  
   
“We are trying to!” Leo spat in frustration, sweating heavily, scrambling at the chains, his fear was thick invading Raph’s nostrils.  
   
“Leo!” Raph panicked pointing to the machine that was now aimed towards them.  
Leo only looked at it grimly, turning his head back towards Raph, witnessing Raph’s lip was trembling in his horror, the red clad turtle was scared, and there was no way he can get out of the chains in time…  
   
“I’m sorry…” Leo slowly said as tears filled his eyes, knowing he had to make this decision for his younger brother, while he rose to his feet.  
   
Taking a breath to muster his courage, the older brother went between Raph and the machine, staring down its barrel, releasing all his regrets, thinking back to all the good times and moments he treasured, not willing to let them go.  
   
“Leo what are you doing?! Leo listen to me, save yourself!!” Raph screamed, begging his brother to get out of the crossfire, as he could hear the horrifying sounds of the gun powering up.  
   
All complaints from Raph and the other brothers fell on deaf ears, for Leo only smiled sweetly looking over his shoulder to take one more look at his brother that he was so proud of, “Raph, take care of your little brothers… I guess I have to take a rain check for that beer we promised to have tonight… Good bye Raph… I’m proud and honored to call you brother…”  
   
Shocked by his brother’s calmness and the overall chaos that surrounded them all, as the fear consumed him, Raph extended his hand out, wailing in protest, “LEO don’t do this! LEO please… please!!! LEO!!!”  
   
A flash of light burned his eyes, bear witnessing his brother fading into that light, with the stupid smile on his face that burned into his mind…  
  
   
\-------------------------------------*******************-----------------------------------  
   
  
“LEO!” Raph jolted up screaming at the top of his lungs, while the cold sweat dripped down his muscular green body, in a flash his body slammed into the ground as his hammock swung side to side over head.  
   
Shaking from his haunting nightmare, Raph stared into the pitch black of his room, not even daring to moan from the pain caused by his harsh fall and rash awakening, gasping for air that wasn’t coming, his heart throbbed into his ears, drowning the cries of his brothers that came to his aid.  
   
“Raph, Raph!” Mikey panicked shaking his big brother, begging him to respond to him, reluctantly Raph’s yellow eyes stared at Mikey in response, not ushering a word.  
   
“Another nightmare… Raph you have been having them for a month now, I suggest,” Donnie started recommending, only to get a glare from Raph, as he scrabble to his feet, pushing Mikey to the side.  
   
“Fuck off Donnie, my dreams and nightmares are my own business, go back to bed and leave me alone!” Raph demanded, growling, shoving Donnie into the wall to force the purple clad turtle to allow him to leave his room, he wasn’t in the mood for lectures, or what he should or shouldn’t do, if they are so content in moving on from Leo’s death, that was their choice, not his!  
   
“Come on Raph, be reasonable here,” Donnie put his hand on Raph’s shoulder trying to stop his big brother from dropping this conversation and just for once talk to them, then just once again ignore the fact he needed to talk to someone about that day, for the reality of the situation was, out of them all, Raph was the only one bottling this up.  
   
Slapping the hand away Raph snarled, “Don’t give me that… come on Raph, bullshit! I said back off! So read my lips egghead, LEAVE---ME---THE---FUCK---ALONE!!! And drop this shit, you’re my brother, not some goddamn shrink, so stop judging me and putting me under your microscope, I ant one of your experiments you can analyze away with. I want my space, so let me have it.”  
   
With that the red clad turtle stomped down the hall towards the stairs, making his way to the showers.  
   
Once Raph was out of sight, slowly Mikey came behind Donnie laying his chin on his brother’s shoulder, “Donnie I don’t know what to do for him anymore… He is hurting so much and… and… I tried to talk to him so many times, but he keeps pushing me away! It’s like we don’t exist to him… or don’t matter anymore…”  
   
“Mikey…” Donnie sighed, turning around giving a hug to the little brother that was begging for some comfort, “I know, he still blames himself, he thinks he was the one that killed Leo.”  
   
Sniffling, Mikey pressed into Donnie’s plastron tightly as a rain of tears fell from his eyes, “But he didn’t… it wasn’t his fault, why can’t he see that!?… We lost father years ago and now Leo, I don’t want to lose Raph too!”  
   
“We won’t lose him Mikey, I promise. Let’s give him some space like he asked, but still remind him he is not alone, we are here and still alive,” Donnie soothed his little brother, which has been becoming harder to achieve everyday, they only had each other, and needed to stick together, yet in the events of everything that was surrounding them, their world was falling apart, and there was no one to hold them up anymore.  
   
TBC


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (TMNT CC are AU based on 2003 version, the turtles are 23)  
> Warning (Rated: T) Disturbing Content, Foul Language, M-Preg, Character Death,  
> Please Don’t Read if you don’t like this stuff.  
> Disclaimer: TMNT isn’t mine and this is just a fan fiction writing. No money is being made on this story.  
> Summary: Raph is devastated over the lost of his brother, lost in his confusion on how to move on Raph finds himself at a cross roads with choices he never thought he would have to make.

Clenching his fists tightly, turning white by his actions, Raph stared at the off white tiles of the bathroom’s walls, so much frustration; so much rage leashed him in his place, making his body shutter out of his control.  
   
Swiftly not even thinking, reacting without consideration of the repercussions, the hothead slammed his once unscratched fist into the wall, watching cracks form by the pressure of his punch, while blotches of red painted it.  
   
Slumping forward Raph let his body weight take him as he slid down to the ground glaring at his hand in disgust, watching the warm water that brought no comfort to him, try to rinse his rash actions only in vain, for his blood would not stop running from his open wound on his knuckles.  
   
Closing his eyes, feeling the cold wet cement under him, he wish the water would wash his feelings away instead of worrying about his hand.  
   
The desire was overwhelming, so much he wanted to get rid of this, this haunting sickening feeling that clawed at him, choking the life out of him, he would do anything to have this come to pass.  
   
Why did this have to happen, where did Leo, that bastard, think this was the choice that should have been made?  
   
Why him, why does he get to live and his older brother the life line of this family, looses his, practically throwing his life away?  
   
“Why **LEO** …. You had so many dreams… unlike **me…** ”  
   
~~~~~~~~~~~~~ **FLASH BACK** ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
   
Crystal beams of light reflected off the calming water below, with the city lingering before them, Raph stretched smiling, it was a sight to behold, one that many citizens forget that exist, that could be found just at their back door.  
   
Taking a pleasurable sip of his ice cold beer, Raph couldn’t picture a better moment, that is if Leo wouldn’t stop fiddling with his beer, as if he was contemplating it was poisoned or not.  
   
“Leo damn it! I ask you to come out for a drink, not sip yeah beer like some milk drinker!” Raph narrowed his eyes at his brother with a grin, taking a swig.  
   
“Huh?” Leo slowly looked up, fazing back to reality, where did he go for a second there?  
   
“I said drink up… Jeez Leo you seem like you’re on another planet… Have you been spending too much time with Mikey, that he actually rubbed off on you!?” Raph joked, receiving an annoying growl from Leo who rolled his eyes, finally taking a real drink from his beer.  
   
“It’s nothing…” Leo slumped back down, playing with his beer, moping again.  
   
Biting his lip, Raph knew he would have to act all Donnie like, “Come on Fearless, spill it, what the hell is on your mind, talk to Dr. Raphie”  
   
Taken by surprise of the comment, bursting into laughter, Leo spit out the alcohol in his mouth all over the cement roof, “Dr. Raphie, really? Wow, how many have you drank so far?”  
   
“For your information, I’m not even buzzed. Two, not everyone is a light weight like you Leo… So are you going to fucken spill it or do I have to beat it out of you?” leaning forward Raph stared at Leo with his golden eyes, that for once made the blue clad turtle look away quickly in dismissal.  
   
Curiosity now taking over, Raph wasn’t going to let this go, Leo was acting very peculiar then the norm.  
   
Sighing depressingly, the older brother gave in, rubbing his thumb on the neck of his beer, “Raph, do you ever wonder if there is more?”  
   
“More?” Raph raised an eyebrow, trying to read between the lines, which he was failing miserably, becoming more confused over the question, he wasn’t fond of riddles.  
   
“Yes, more… I mean, think about it, we defeated the shredder, there is only small pockets of foot still lingering around that aren’t really a threat… Every day of our lives since we first dared to come to the surface, we wound up into battle after another… Why? I mean I understand someone needs to protect our home, but we are ninjas not superheroes, why do we still continue? Why do we have to be held down to this city, where is the line finally drawn?”  
   
Lowering his beer, Raph shuffled in his spot over the question, “So are you telling me you don’t want to be a ninja anymore? Is this because dad died?”  
   
As the air thickened both brothers fell silent, then Leo finally spoke up, “No, that’s not what I’m implying, I still want to be a ninja… I know this will sound cocky, but I want to surpass our master, becoming a master far greater than him and even his master… The thing is, I know staying here I will never achieve that, I need to widen my horizon… I…”  
   
Quickly in a rush of anger Raph growled slamming his beer onto the ground as it shattered, splashing all over, coating him and the ground with its overpowering aroma, “What the hell Leo! Fuck sakes, are you saying you’re planning on leaving us!”  
As the younger brother’s anger was apparent, Leo could only smile, taking it as a compliment, yet unfortunately he couldn’t hold his laughter at bay, only fueling the hothead’s already boiling fire, resulting Leo getting a punch in the face.  
   
Hissing Leo held his beak, that throbbed by the assault, normally he would be disappointed in Raph for losing his cool, but he did ask for it after all.  
   
“Raph… Damn, that’s not what I was trying to say… Ahhh, my beak hurts…”  
   
“Then tell me what you’re trying to say **FEARLESS** , no more riddles Jackass!” Raph spat, clenching his fist in a heat of fury.  
   
“I was saying about leaving New York, but in rearguards in some r&r for all of us.”  
   
Easing up, Raph brushed away the wet beer off of his legs, trying to control his temper in the process, “What are you talking about?”  
   
Sighing, Leo crossed his legs, fiddling with his thumbs, “I was thinking we should as a family, leave for a while, like I said the foot aren’t much of a threat, and we have done our duties for this city, it's time we do something for ourselves. Look at Donnie for instants, have you seen his maps of the places he wished to go and visit? Mikey even has been puttering around wanting more than just his video games and comics, we all need this… But… it’s probably a stupid idea… forget that I even mentioned it, Raph…” Leo hung his head low, why did he actually console his feelings to Raph? The red clad brother was never the type one would bother to do so…  
   
It was overly obvious that Leo was serious in wanting to do this, smiling, grabbing a new beer from the cooler, Raph beamed, “Ok.”  
   
As his words reached Leo, he flashed a surprised look at his young brother in disbelief, did he just say ok?  
   
“Raph?”  
   
Passing another beer to Leo, Raph smile widened, “I said ok, lets do it!”  
   
“Really? Are you fucking with me?” Leo narrowed his eyes, pointing to himself.  
   
“I wouldn’t dream of doing that to you…” Raph chuckled, then straightened up showing he was sincere in what he was going to say next, “You’re right; we all need a change of pace, it’s not a bad idea really.”  
   
Studying the hothead sibling carefully, looking for any signs of sarcasm, Leo crossed his arms, surely Raph wouldn’t be so willing, not him of all people, “What is the catch Raph?”  
   
Bursting into laughter Raph shook his head, “Why does there have to be a catch?”  
   
“Because you aren’t the type to say ‘OK’, just like that. I would figure you would be more stubborn on this idea, giving me grief or point out how stupid the idea is for the fact we are turtles and we can’t just pack up and leave like some humans going on vacation… Or something in that manner…”  
   
Sloshing the booze in his mouth, enjoying its taste, Raph got up finding a more suitable place to relax that wasn’t covered in beer and glass.  
   
Getting to his own feet, following the brother still skeptic on his easy going view and the fact on agreeing with him without question, Leo sat beside Raph on the ledge of the building, waiting for Raph to say something in response.  
   
Finally, what seemed like hours, which Raph did on purpose to see the leader squirm in anticipation, Raph spoke up with a devilish smirk, “Simple, I too wouldn’t mind seeing the world for different reasons, of course, but its not a bad idea, and we both know Donnie can make that happen without us having to worry about the little things like being turtles!”  
   
“So it’s just that simple, huh, you surprise me Raph, but I have to admit it, I like it, but I know this will be the one and only time your going to be so willing to listen to me... Ok, why don’t we talk to Donnie and Mikey over it and see what they think about this new idea.”  
   
With a stretch Raph leaned forward admiring the view, “Fine with me, but how about we do it tomorrow, here on the roof, so there is no distractions.”  
   
Chugging down his beer, Leo gave out a satisfying moan, “Deal, beer is on me this time around.”  
   
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ **END OF FLASH BACK** ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
   
“Yeah… deal…” Raph put his head into his hands curling up into a ball, still feeling the water that now became cold, as he ran out the hot water.  
   
That night they were all going to make the biggest decision of their lives, which was the night Leo lost his life, if only he told Leo they were best to go home after their discussion and talk to their other brothers then waiting for the next day, if they did… Donnie would never have found out about that warehouse….  
   
Shuttering, Raph pulled his knees tightly against his plastron, as he screamed his frustrations and sorrows, making his lungs burned in the result.  
   
“I’m sorry Leo… I fuck up badly on this one! How could I have been such an idiot… you would still be alive if I wasn’t such a fuck up!”  
  
TBC


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (TMNT CC are AU based on 2003 version, the turtles are 23)  
> Warning (Rated: T) Disturbing Content, Foul Language, M-Preg, Character Death,  
> Please Don’t Read if you don’t like this stuff.  
> Disclaimer: TMNT isn’t mine and this is just a fan fiction writing. No money is being made on this story.  
> Summary: Raph is devastated over the lost of his brother, lost in his confusion on how to move on Raph finds himself at a cross roads with choices he never thought he would have to make.

The icy pellets rain down upon him, chilling his body, bringing his core temperature down, as his teeth chattered, unfazed by this, Raph only stared into the abyss, wondering how death really felt like, was it nothing then some empty void or what we create it to be?  
   
Slowly closing his eyes, he could hear a familiar gasp, as footsteps approached him with haste, turning off the water, then draping a towel over him, “Raph what are you doing, the water is ice cold!” Donnie hissed, forcing his brother onto his feet, taking a wearily look at his knuckles noticing the big gash on it, and the wall that was fine earlier, now broken, shattered, falling to pieces  
   
“Leave me…” Raph sluggishly said in defense, only to get a rash slap on the face that stung more than his fist and current pride.  
   
“DON’T YOU DARE RAPHAEL!” Donnie growled, gripping his older brother’s arm, tightly pressing him to his body, dragging the red clad turtle towards the archway to the section where the toilets were located to leave the bathroom.  
   
Blinking wildly, baffled on what just happened, Raph’s eyes widen as he was speechless, did Donnie just bitch slap him?  
   
“Donnie? Did you just…” Raph started only to get a warning glare as the younger brother continued to force Raph to his lab to get his hand bandage up.  
   
Falling in silence, the hothead didn’t usher a word, letting Donnie to carry his full weight, not bothering to help, considering Donnie was on a mission, the way he was going, if Raph even dared to help or walk on his own, Donnie would have his head or worse.  
   
Reaching the cluttered lab full of books, papers and things Raph just didn’t want to get into, Donnie brought him to the doctor's bed that April got a hold for him long ago, it was comfy and it was better than some chair or the floor.  
   
Taking a seat on top, Raph watched his brother scramble around gathering up the things he needed, finally coming back to the bed, taking Raph hand, examining it with his goggles.  
   
“Raph… why did you punch the wall?” Donnie asked, taking the tweezers removing some tiling from the wound before he stitched it up, figuring Raph might need at least three stitches.  
   
“Because it looked at me funny” Raph annoyingly claimed, not in the mood to explain himself, why should he?  
   
Removing the last piece of tile placing it in a dish to throw out later, Donnie only sighed to the sarcastic remark, why did he even bother?  
   
Stitching up the hand, making sure it was wrapped up properly, Donnie crossed his arms, “Well then, I hope you learn your lesson, no matter what, the wall always wins.”  
   
Giving a goofy annoying smirk, Raph mocked him, “Oh yes, so true, the wall is a ninja’s greatest enemy, unless that ninja has a sledgehammer! Like to see how that one plays out!”  
   
“With you getting hit in the head by debris, remember you already tested that theory and still, the wall won,” Donnie smiled devilishly, remembering how Raph, age seven, challenged the wall, taking a sledgehammer to it only to have a block fall on his head, was he ever wailing, full of tears on that one, after that Master Splinter made Raph fix the wall up as punishment, making the wall win all the more.  
   
Lowering his head, rubbing it actually, Raph grumbled under his breath, of course Donnie remembered that day, the damn guy does have a photographic memory after all, heck he wouldn’t be surprised that Donnie was holding back moments, waiting to use them against them if he needed to blackmail him or Mikey.  
   
“Yeah, yeah, if it’s ok with you D-O-C, I’m going,” Raph jumped off the bed quickly, with no complaints from Donnie who was still reminiscing the past.  
   
Shaking his head, Raph just wanted to go back to bed, it was turning out to be another annoying day that he wished it would just end already.  
   
Just as he reached the door, an unseen force hit him, in reaction his body started to tremble becoming very numb, his vision blurred, as an unspeakable darkness quickly rushed in, taking him by surprise.  
   
\-------------------------------------------**************------------------------------------  
   
“Raph… RAPH… RAPHAEL WAKE UP!!! …. Damn it! Mikey, please give me a hand!”  
   
“Donnie what’s going on? What’s wrong with Raph?”  
   
“I don’t know he just passed out, he isn’t responding, his pupils aren’t dilating … We need to get him to the bed! Hurry now…. Careful now, we don’t want to drop him…”  
   
“Remind me Donnie, to cut down the carbs in his diet, he weighs a ton!”  
   
\------------------------**************-------------------------------------  
   
~~~~~~~~~~~~~FLASH BACK~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Breathing in deeply, shifting his foot in position, the red clad turtle eyed his opponent, studying him, his challenge clear and vivid in his head, he had to show he could think before acting, not allowing his aggression control his actions, giving away his movements that could spell disaster, forcing him losing this fight before it even began.  
   
Slowly he moved to his right, not disconnecting his death lock to his opponent’s deep gray eyes, that were blank, hiding the secretive inner thoughts, masking his strategy, that Raph wouldn’t be surprised that his foe had mapped out waiting for him to make the first move.  
   
Then a flicker of opportunity came to the surface, the right side was wide open, calling him to take action, relying on that instinct, Raph strike quickly, with no hesitation.  
   
Any moment his sai will come into contact to his foolish rival, who probably never would consider that Raph would go the distance, achieving a perfect balance and clear of mind.  
   
“Do you ever want to have kids Raph?” the blue clad rival asked, tilting his head towards Raph, with wondering eyes.  
   
Startled by such an out of the blue question, Raph turned white, feeling his knees becoming weak, buckling under him as he face planted the floor hard with a grown.  
   
Seeing this coming, Leo casually moved to the side, not bothering to save his brother from getting close and personal to the cement floor.  
   
“What the hell LEO! I was in the zone…. And yeah had to ask such a stupid question!!! Damn that is worse than Mikey!!” Raph growled, pulling himself up in a fury, losing his once calm state, surrendering to his anger, thrusting his fist forward, only to have Leo catch it with ease, responding to his younger brother with a disapproving sigh over his rash thoughtless actions.  
   
“Raph… It’s not a stupid question…” Leo barked reading Raph’s body language annoyingly, “Fine, rrrr…forget about it,” Leo let go of Raph’s fist making his leave, watching his big brother, the hothead sighed, feeling the nagging guilt overwhelming his anger, for his distasteful attempt to strike his leader in such a manner over something so pitiful.  
   
Biting his lip, Raph gently grabbed Leo’s shoulder, forcing him to stay, “It is a stupid question… but it’s your stupid question, why do yeah ask?”  
   
“I don’t know, just thinking that’s all…” Leo muttered under his breath, going towards one of the walls, leaning his shell against it, letting gravity take its course, as his body slid to the floor.  
   
“Just thinking?” Raph raised an eyebrow, here we go, every time Leo states he is just thinking, it always has to do with something that happened, and it has been plaguing him ever since, this has been coming a frequent habit of late, after their father died, not just that, oddly Leo has been more open towards him of all brothers, Donnie was the brother everyone went to console too, was it intentional…. that Leo has been leaning towards Raph then the purple clad brother… Raph wasn’t sure of that answer.  
   
“Yes, I was, sorry I should never brought it up during practice, please accept my apologies Raphael,” Leo bowed low, very sincere on his statement, like his honor was on the line, in response Raph only rolled his eyes.  
   
“Ok… Well, spill it, what brought this on?” Raph crossed his arms, dropping to the ground in front of Leo.  
   
Nervously Leo bit his lip, “Yesterday, you remember that woman we help right?”  
   
“The blond chick with the baby carriage… oh… of course…”  
   
“That is the one, I got a glimpse of her infant, and…” Leo trailed off as Raph shook his head in disbelief.  
   
“Yeah were wondering what it would be like to raise one of those things?” Raph tap his finger, well this was on top of one of the oddest Leo questions he has ever heard from his big brother.  
   
“Things? Raph it’s a baby, not an object.”  
   
Smirking Raph leaned back, “Ok… sorry, Mr. Sensitive! Let me rephrase that, they are demonic creatures, which only eat, shit, and puke, why in the world, would yeah want one of those…. things?”  
   
“Demonic creature?” Leo tilted his head, taken on the notion, that Raph thought them as such, or was he kidding?  
   
“Yes, jeezzzz Leo, really a baby, we are ninjas not some damn sitters, why would yeah want to raise one of those things anyways? … You’re serious aren’t yeah?” Raph asked, watching Leo nodding slowly, in complete awkwardness.  
   
Shocked and very baffled over Leo’s new need, Raph just stared at his fearless leader, why would he want to have a kid, if that was even possible… unless he was thinking about a human, then that would be just too cruel to subjugate it to their way of life.  
   
Seeing no other way to respond, Raph went with the only way he could think of, as he burst out into laughter, “Oh man Leo, that was a good one, wanting to raise a kid,” Raph got to his feet slapping his knee as the tears formed in his eyes, “Ok fearless, I’m done for the day, if you need me I will be in my room… have a kid… never heard something so ridiculous in my life before… Kids… Damn that is too much.”  
   
“… So I will take it you not interested then… of course…” Leo sighed, watching Raph making his way to the door not stopping his laughing.  
   
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~END OF FLASH BACK~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
   
Eyes slowly fluttering, as the hothead tried to open them, he shut them just as quick, hissing over the fact that Donnie had his damn lamp beaming onto him, almost blinding him from the strong light that illuminated from the old examining lamp.  
   
“Damn it Donnie, do you really have to direct that thing at my face?” Raph pushed the lamp out of his way, so he could sit up, hearing Donnie growled in protest for Raph being so forceful when pushing the lamp away, actually almost causing it to snap off its base.  
   
It was bad enough Raph broke it the last time Donnie used it, resulting Donnie to resorting to duck tape for it was beyond repair, even then the genius was surprised it still worked… most the times that is.  
   
“Sorry Raph, I was examining you. You did just faint twenty minutes ago!” Donnie loomed over the bigger brother, gently pushing him back down for he wasn’t done of yet, regardless if Raph was finally awake.  
   
“Fainted? Twenty Minutes… What?” Raph tilted his head towards his brother in confusion, while the purple clad turtle brother had a stethoscope pressed firmly to Raph’s plastron, listening to his heart, with a puzzling look painted all over his face.  
   
“… Yes indeed, twenty minutes… Raph take a big breath please,” Donnie instructed, ignoring the red clad turtles wondering questionable eyes.  
   
Figuring the only way to find out what the hell was going on, he just had to do what the doc asked.  
   
Taking a breath, holding it, then letting it go, Donnie expression didn’t change, as he muttered something under his breath, leaving the bed heading towards the back room where Donnie kept most of his machines that weren’t being used at the moment.  
   
Unsure why Donnie was acting like this, Raph slowly sat up, to get a better look, unfortunately could only see darkness where Donnie disappeared to, what was going on, and why did Donnie seemed so baffled, did he hear something that he shouldn’t have, could it be the cause of his fainting spell  in the first place?  
   
Taking in his surrounding, Raph came to the realization that Mikey didn’t seem to be around, although Raph did recall Donnie calling him for help or was that his imagination?  
   
Shaking his head, he knew that wasn’t important, what was, was the mystery surrounding him fainting, he never just faints, well the only time that he could recall, was when he was being stubborn and left his bed when he shouldn’t have, other than that he never done anything like this in this manner out of the blue.  
   
Snapping him out of thought, a squeaking of wheels suddenly emerged from the darkness; Donnie came back to the room wheeling in what looked like a… an ultrasound machine?  
   
“Donnie, why do yeag need that thing?” Raph questioned nervously, the only times Donnie took it out was when he believed there was something wrong and need an inside look.  
   
“Need to double check something, don’t worry Raph,” Donnie wheeled the machine beside the bed, hooking it up, so he could use it.  
   
“Like what?” Raph couldn’t take his eyes off the machine; he started to get a dreadful heavy feeling at the bottom of his stomach, like something was really wrong with him.  
   
“It’s probably nothing… When listening to your heart, there was an anomaly I kept hearing, just making sure it was my imagination that’s all, or nothing to threat about,” Donnie smiled sweetly placing the probe against Raph’s plastron, as the machine started to make noises, it was his heart, Raph knew that much.  
   
“Huh…,” Donnie tilted his head, tapping at the screen with uncertainty.  
   
“Huh, what… Donnie, why are you sliding that thing down?” Raph had to ask, watching the probe traveling down his plastron towards his stomach area, as a swooshing sound got louder as he did, then suddenly Donnie stopped, turning white as his hand actually started to tremble.  
   
“This… this… is not possible!” Donnie gulped muttering to himself, rubbing his eyes to dismiss the idea he could be seeing things.  
   
“What isn’t possible, hell Donnie, talk to me!” Raph growled in frustration, wanting to know why Donnie was acting so secretive and floored over whatever he was seeing on the ultrasound screen.  
   
With no answer still from the purple clad turtle, as the swooshing sound continued, ringing into his ear like it was taunting him, Raph had it, jerking up quickly, turning the monitor towards him, as he did, the probe moved, losing the image it had, yet in the corner of the screen was a capture picture.  
   
Donnie still not responding, Raph grabbed the mouse clicking on the image, as a rush of pure fear claimed him, choking the life out of him, draining him of all the blood in his face, as he turned white, all the while he started to wish he didn’t dare to take a look after all.  
   
“Donnie…” Raph forced out, squeaking as he did, “Is that what I think it is?” Raph stuttered, unable to get his voice to stabilize, as the mouse shook in his hand.  
   
Biting his lip, Donnie nodded, still wrapping his head around the idea, “Y…yes… Raph… I strongly believe you’re pregnant…”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (TMNT CC are AU based on 2003 version, the turtles are 23)  
> Warning (Rated: M) Disturbing Content, Foul Language, M-Preg?, Character Death,  
> PLEASE UNDERSTAND THIS IS NOT A FLUFF/CHEERFUL STORY!!! IT'S REALLY AN HORROR!!! IT'S REALLY AN HORROR WITH TWISTED INTENTIONS! :)  
> Please Don’t Read if you don’t like this stuff.  
> Disclaimer: TMNT isn’t mine and this is just a fan fiction writing. No money is being made on this story.  
> Summary: Raph is devastated over the lost of his brother, lost in his confusion on how to move on Raph finds himself at a cross roads with choices he never thought he would have to make.

Deep within the shadows of the Dojo, sitting there with glossy eyes, Raph stared at the empty sword rack on the wall.  
   
The very sword rack that his older brother would place his katanas when he was home.  
   
With not a single item there to fill it, the wooden display was nothing more, but an empty void, exactly the same sensation he felt strongly within.  
   
To think this hellish roller coaster ride couldn’t get any more fucked up, not even an hour ago, he finds out he is so called pregnant!?  
   
Him, a male at that, was pregnant? How was that even possible?!  
   
 **~~~~~~~~~~~~~1 Hr Earlier~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**  
   
The image on the old screen was crystal clear even to him.  
   
Yet regardless of the fact a part of him knew what this was, the rest of him wasn’t exactly sure what he was truly looking at.  
   
There on the ultrasound screen, displayed a bizarre image that one would consider bear witnessing some sitcom or horror film about aliens.  
   
One singular oval showed up on the black and white display, within this shape, appeared to be some fetus, which remarkably resembled a turtle in many ways.  
   
Even the purple clad turtle, apparently, was consumed in his shock, staring at the image with uncertainty.  
   
Though no smoke came from his ears, one would undoubtedly come to the conclusion that the gears within his head turned frantically to rationalize this unusual predicament.  
   
Just the mere sight of it, Raph suddenly felt like puking.  
   
The red clad turtle was overwhelmed by this impossible scenario, as one answer came to mind, this must be some mistake!  
   
Even now Raph could see Donnie sincere face, baffled on this discovery, yet was he really complex or was he playing this role?  
   
Clenching his fist, Raph couldn’t bear this any longer.  
   
In a fueling rage, Raph threw the mouse to the side that smacked into the keyboard, startling the purple clad brother, snapping him out of his train of thought.  
   
“WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS!!!” Raph yelled sitting up quickly, slamming his fist onto the medical bed with much force, evidently showing off his anger without a care.  
   
Instantly Donnie’s face turned white, shaking it back and forth quickly to show he too was dumbfounded on this.  
   
Lost in words, Donnie was unsure how to respond to his troubled brother correctly.  
   
With not having the answers at hand, Donnie wasn’t sure at the current moment how to phrase his words or how he should handle this without making it worse than it already was.  
   
Narrowing his eyes, Raph growled in his rage, thrusting forward, grabbing Donnie’s leather strap across his chest, using it to pull Donnie towards him forcefully, “I said what the fuck is this?! Did Mikey put you up to this HUH!! I swear Donnie!!”  
   
The younger brother understanding fully well the disadvantage he had against his older sibling.  
   
As well the notion his big brother's anger was at its peak, he could only wave his hands in front of him in pure defeat and complete fear.  
   
“No no no!! Raph why would we do such a trick!!” Donnie whimpered desperately, hoping his pleas would reach through his brother’s haziness.  
   
“FUCK THAT!!! How do you suspect me to believe that bullshit!!”  
   
Consumed by his continuing climaxing enmity, Raph quickly slammed Donnie into the monitor screen head first, “See that, what the hell! Do yeah really think I would believe that I’m fucken pregnant! Where in that big brain of yours did you ever consider that I would fall for it!”  
   
“Raph, please calm down. It’s not a joke!!” Donnie screamed, feeling the shards of pain shooting through his body, all the while the side of his face was becoming numb by the second.  
   
“If it isn’t a joke Genius… then what the hell is it!”  
   
“I don’t know… please Raph let me go… you're hurting me…” Donnie begged whimpering more, uncertain how far his brother’s anger will control him.  
   
 All considering Raph has been very unpredictable of late after Leo’s death and unfortunately the carefully strategic turtle was unable to see a way out of this, without winding up with a broken body in the end.  
   
“NO! Not until you tell me what sick fucken joke this is!” Raph barked more, lost in his anger, forgetting that this was Donnie that he was dealing with, not some foot soldier.  
   
Quickly Raph took out one of his sai clenching it into his hand.  
   
Using his free hand, Raph slammed Donnie to the ground, placing his knee firmly onto Donnie’s chest, while his sai tightly press against the younger brother’s throat.  
   
A thick cloud of fear and horror engulfed the purple clad turtle instantly.  
   
With wide eyes, Donnie started to sweat in disbelief that this was actually happening.  
   
It was fully clear that Raph had gone on the deep end.  
   
All that anger he has been bottling up was being released at this moment and he was the unfortunate victim that got into the brothers way when it did.  
   
“Fucken bastard you are sick, you hear me!! Sick!!”  
   
“RAPH DON’T!!” Donnie screamed in agony, feeling the sai pierce his tender skin, feeling his lifeline running down his green skin.  
   
\--------------------------------------------****************-------------------------------  
   
Moaning, feeling like his body was hit by a truck, sluggishly Raph attempted to get up from what he figured was the concrete floor?  
   
Hissing in confusion, Raph placed his hand on his head that pounded with nor remorse or end.  
   
Not even a second he opened his eyes, instantly a shimmer of silver caught his attention.  
   
The sword that was aimed at him was no other then one of Leo’s old blades.  
   
Turning white by this shocking realization, Raph slowly looked up, meeting Mikey’s teary baby blue eyes.  
   
The sight of seeing his baby brother in such a state, or daring to aim their dead brother’s weapon towards him, was beyond Raph’s comprehension, bring his confusion to new heights.  
   
Unable to fandom on what to do, Raph found himself only able to stare at his little brother, whose hands suddenly started to tremble, making the sword that was steady as a rock a moment ago, now rattling in his hand uncontrollably.  
   
“Mikey what the fuck?” Raph cautiously stated.  
   
Not risking making any harsh movements, Raph feared the orange clad brother might hit him by accident.  
   
In past experience has served him, Raph recalled that Mikey wasn’t skilled enough in handling a sword properly; making this situation dire with every second that went by.  
   
“Are you sane?” Mikey managed to ask with a firm and direct tone, regardless the fact everything else about him was falling apart.  
   
“Sane? What are you talking about?” Raph questioned, leaning back slowly, not too fond on the idea of having the deadly blade so close and personal to his face.  
   
“You know what I mean!” Mikey barked in frustration, making the blade in his hand shake more.  
   
Taking his time, Raph slowly raised his hands, still confused on what was happening.   
   
Why was Mikey standing there with Leo’s sword and pointing it at him, acting like he was some derange mental patient?  
   
“Mikey chill man… I don’t know what you’re talking about, why would you ask me if I’m sane, do I look like a turtle that was insane?” Raph swallowed hard, coming to the realization he didn’t have his sia, even if he attempted to grab the sword to get the upper hand, Raph was certain Mikey knew how to counter that attack with ease.  
   
“I don’t know Raph… especially after what you did to Donnie!” Mikey balled bringing the blade down aiming it at Raph’s neck.  
   
When the words that Mikey spoke of, stating what he did to Donnie, came to the hotheads ears, a thick rush of dread clawed at him, freezing him in his place, did something happen to Donnie?  
   
The mere thought horrified him, why would he hurt Donnie?  
   
What was Mikey talking about?  
   
Not seeing any way around this, Raph jumped up using his one arm to push the blade to the side, ignoring the burning pain of it slicing through his flesh.  
   
He had to get the upper hand no matter what, it was apparent Mikey was in some distress, becoming very unpredictable.  
   
Just having him using that sword was more than one clear sign that Mikey might react before thinking, resulting him to harm Raph worse than some cut arm.  
   
Grabbing the orange clad brother’s wrist firmly, Raph forced Mikey to relinquish the blade tossing it to one side, to show he wasn’t planning to use it.  
   
With a scream in terror, Mikey did quiet down when he found himself in Raph’s arms feeling Raph body trembled.  
   
Biting his lip, Raph shook his head wildly, “Mikey what the hell…. why would you think I would hurt Donnie… and why did you arm yourself with Leo’s katana?”  
   
Stuttering Mikey swallowed his confusion, Raph was acting normal.  
   
“Raph you hurt Donnie! He… he…”  
   
Letting go of Mikey, so he could see his face, Raph noticed the fear in Mikey’s eyes were gone, but didn’t stop from watering, “Mikey where is Donnie…”  
   
Not getting a response, Raph quickly looked over the empty lab, it was apparent Donnie was no where in sight.  
   
Yet the only thing he could see to his horror was the ultrasound machine smashed on the ground, with blood splattered over everything.  
   
“He…” Mikey looked over towards the crime scene.  
   
“Mikey what… what happened…?”  
   
Shaking his head Mikey turned white like the memories were haunting him, “He was screaming… screaming so much, I… I came in as soon as I heard… I thought someone snuck into the lair… or one of Donnie’s experiments went bad… but… but…”  
   
“Mikey what?! Why was Donnie screaming!” Raph growled, shaking Mikey, wanting him to get to his point.  
   
Looking up into his big brother’s eyes with a blank stare, Mikey’s bottom lip trembled, “You… you were beating him with your sai… yelling at him, telling him… Telling him he was sick for playing that joke on you. I tried to stop you, but… but you came at me next… thrusting your sai at my… my heart. I was able to get a hold of Donnie’s bo staff and hit you in the head…”  
   
Taking a couple steps back, Raph placed his hands on his head, as a dark cloud suffocated him.  
   
Mikey wouldn’t make something like that up, it was beyond him… then did he, did he really attacked his brothers so coldly?  
   
No, it couldn’t be he would never do that, but… why couldn’t he remember any of that, the last thing he recalled was… was that Donnie said he was pregnant…  
   
“Mikey… where is Donnie…” Raph lowered his head losing all life in his voice.  
   
“In the living room… but bro, I don’t think,” Mikey protested, only to have it fall on deaf ears, for Raph just went pass him towards the exit of the lab, without ushering a word.  
   
\-----------------------------------------*********************--------------------------  
   
The living room was cast in shadows, a lone dark figured sat there in the far end in one of the old worn out lazy boy chairs, curled up in a ball.  
   
Taking his time, the hothead slowly approached the unexpected brother that seemed unaware of his presence.  
   
To his shock, Donnie was bandaged up from head to toe.  
   
There were fresh bruises all over his body, that turned black against is now dirty green skin that was covered by dust and dirt.  
   
The brother didn’t stir with his eyes closed, that had lines of tears that already dried up some time ago, streaking down his face.  
   
Gulping hard Raph stared at him in utter disbelief; did he do that to Donnie?  
   
“Donnie?” Raph slowly stuttered out, seeing the purple clad turtle cringe upon hearing his voice.  
   
Tightening into a ball more, Donnie only shook, not daring to look at Raph.  
   
Only being in arms length, the muscle turtle did want to ease his brother, yet knew it would be in vain, he would only make it worse.  
   
There only being one option open for him, Raph turned around leaving silently, slipping into the darkness of the lair, finding refuge in the Dojo.  
   
\--------------------------------**************-----------------------------  
  
 **~~~~~~~~~~~~~Now~~~~~~~~~~~~~**  
   
Closing his eyes Raph’s head sank low, what was he to do, this day was all messed up.  
   
Was it just a simple task to say sorry to Donnie?  
   
What about this so called pregnancy?  
   
If Leo was here… he would know what to do…


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (TMNT CC are AU based on 2003 version, the turtles are 23)  
> Warning (Rated: M) Disturbing Content, Foul Language, M-Preg?, Character Death,  
> Please Don’t Read if you don’t like this stuff.  
> Disclaimer: TMNT isn’t mine and this is just a fan fiction writing. No money is being made on this story.  
> Summary: Raph is devastated over the lost of his brother, lost in his confusion on how to move on Raph finds himself at a cross roads with choices he never thought he would have to make.

 

* * *

Fists full of sheets, Raph shuttered feeling the cold sweat coating over his overheated skin.

Another night infested by nightmare, so similar to each other has been plaguing him the past two weeks. However, the scenarios were different and places always changed.

There were even places that were pasted together of memories of locations he visited in the past.

Even with all that randomness, one variable remained the same, the one thing he was getting sick of seeing and that made his stomach turn inside out.

His hands always ended up red crimson of the blood of his brothers, as Mikey and Donnie lay there with cold, dead eyes staring at him, questioning him why he did it, why he would kill his own flesh and blood.

Feeling the room closing in on him, Raph started to hyperventilate grasping the sheets more to bring some sense of comfort and reality to him, these were just nightmares and these horrific events never passed.

With all attempts in drilling in his head, all is fine; he couldn't get his head around the dreams that only chipped at his sanity all the more.

The only relief he could snap himself out of this spiraling pit of despair, was smothering his pillow in his face until his nerves started to settle and his gag reflexes on queue kick in from the annoying morning sickness taking him over.

Only then he would feel like he wasn't being swallowed up by his hellish nightmares, as he wondered if he was going mad, or he would one-day play them out?

What was there to stop him? He can't trust his own frame of mind or his reasoning either.

What was his excuse for attacking his brother in the lab? Where were his sensible morals then, where was the control of his own actions even? He had no reason to act in such a manner, nor had he ever had his anger fuel such animosity to such levels, which would result in him to perform such a dishonorable act.

"One... Two... Three..." Raph counted slowly, feeling his nerves starting to settle, yet the sickness in his stomach rose, which wanted to let loose.

On the number five, Raph felt the rush of saliva invading his mouth warning him he was about to spill his guts.

Rushing out of bed, towards the garbage that was placed in arm's reach for this morning ritual, Raph was thankful that Donnie insisted he slept in his bed for the remainder of his term then the hammock.

Though he loved his hammock, Raph didn't enjoy falling out of it after his nightmares, and it was a pain to get to the garbage can without spilling his stomach over the floor and having to clean it up afterwards.

Once letting it all out, Raph huffed feeling his body grown hotter again as his sweat gave him the chills, this was ridiculed. Was this an infliction from the pregnancy or the aftermath of his nightmares...  
 _ **  
~Flash Back~**_

"Raphie?" Leo called through the darkness, tiptoeing up to see if he could turn on the light to chase away the dimness, so he could see.

Still being too short, the young turtle sighed, tapping the flashlight that worked only when abused against his hand to illuminate the room that was polluted by the sounds of sobs.

There in the corner, pressed for dear life against the wall was his little brother Raph.

Raph held onto his blanket with all his might as his body dripping with sweat, quaked in pure horror.

The scent coming off of him made Leo's mouth run dry and his own fear wanted to take root, even so, that wasn't an option for him.

Taking a breath, Leo walked toward the haunted younger sibling, ignoring the tense eyes that flashed at him, telling him not to dare to come any closer.

"Raphie..." Leo called again slowly placing the flashlight down, approaching his brother cautiously.

"GET AWAY FROM ME!" Raph screamed at Leo waving his hand in front of him, as if the older brother came closer all hell would break loose.

"But why?" Leo asked, standing his ground, the thought of seeing his brother suffering like this was heartbreaking.

"Because... Because I'm a monster!" Raph flashed his head towards Leo; his eyes were blood shot from his crying and his nose ran like a stream.

"A Monster?" Leo couldn't help to smile in amusement at the idea and how Raph's nose was dripping so much. Besides, how could Raph ever think he was a monster?

"Are you laughing at me!" Raph snapped, sucking in order to clear his nostrils before throwing his blanket at Leo in frustration.

"Yes... For your no monster Raphie, you're a turtle like me," Leo pointed out picking up Raph's blanket that missed him by a long shot.

"If you saw what I see... you wouldn't think so..." Raph started to cry again, trembling in the spot.

Tilting his head at him Leo didn't understand, what did Raph see that would make him a monster?

Leo seeing no other way to fix this by just standing there, he went to Raph wrapping the blanket around him lovingly. Instantly Raph lashed out, slamming his fist into Leo's beak as the blood started to pour out by the brute force.

Hissing in pain, Leo eyes tear up, as he was torn that Raph would do that to him.

"See, I'm a monster..." Raph retreated back, holding his legs and bringing them to his chest to cradle himself.

"You're no monster RAPHIE!" Leo yelled at Raph, lunging forwards wrapping his arms around his little brother who tried to struggle against him.

"Yes, I am! Yes, I am!" Raph wailed a storm.

"No NO NO NO!" Leo fought back, pinning Raph down, holding onto his brother tightly, "You're not a monster you're my brother!"

"Leo... I kill you in my dreams..." Raph admitted shamefully, letting his struggle go, waiting for Leo to yell at him, tell him he hated him, and he was a monster after all. He deserved it, so why not.

Stopping his actions, Leo looked at him, "You do?"

"Yes..." Raph looked away.

"Raphie, they are just nightmares..."

"Doesn't matter, Leo," Raph snarled, becoming frustrated that Leo wasn't seeing the big picture and how much of a threat he was, "What if I really do it?"

"You wouldn't"

"How would you know?"

Smiling Leo leaned forward, hugging Raph, feeling the tense turtle easing up, "Because you're my brother Raphie. We might fight and throw punches, but that is all we would ever do. When it comes down to it Raphie, you would always protect me, like I will always protect you. "

_**~Flash Back Over~** _

Sitting up, Raph slowly rose to his feet, grabbing his puke bucket to clean it out.

Back then when they were kids, he too had such nightmares, some so real that he thought he actually hurt his family, which was until Leo rushed in holding him and telling him it was alright; it was just a nightmare.

Hearing his voice after the night terrors, that Master Splinter told Raph that is what he was suffering from, Leo always made the awful feelings go away.

After a time, Raph grew out of them and yet even then Leo still kept an eye on him, making sure they never surface again nor Raph would think he was a monster.

"Leo isn't here to put them to bed anymore..." Raph whispered to himself as he made his way to the bathroom.

* * *

"Good Morning Raphie!" Mikey beamed, too cheery for Raph's tastes for the early morning.

"Sure," Raph could only answer sitting down seeing the plate of food before him that his little brother made for him.

Still feeling like his stomach was in knots, he pushed the plate way getting a raised eyebrow from Donnie in response.

"Raph you need to eat. You need to make sure you get the right nutrients for your egg," Donnie pointed out.

With a bit of time to work things out, Donnie felt more comfortable around his brother.

The first couple days Donnie didn't dare go near Raph without being accompanied with Mikey.

The brother treaded lightly around Raph to the point, he even avoided mentioning the pregnancy in fear to spark the flame that made the hothead brother lose his cool that day.

After evaluating some tests Donnie even came to the conclusion that Raph had some kind of episode due to the hormonal imbalance.

There have been some cases that females during pregnancy that would suffer from depression and developed disorders due to the imbalance among other things. With Raph not just being a turtle that could be as much an influence, being male with hormones his body isn't use to producing, caused by his pregnancy, that Donnie still hasn't figured out how it was possible; Raph might suffer from different disorders.

The disorders were not permanent as Donnie could tell, however, they can come onto the brother unexpectedly. That could even change his mood from night to day, resulting to have at times blacking out events.

That said, Donnie's conclusion was that it was best Raph was monitored consistently, and he had to keep a journal on his feelings in order for Donnie to determine when Raph might have another violent spell.

Playing with his food, Raph huffed at Donnie, "Well, what if I'm not hungry?"

"Raph even if you're not feeling hungry, you should still eat something," Donnie instructed, placing his newspaper down eyeing his brother.

"Whatever, like I care about this thing," Raph snarled seeing Mikey stopping in his tracks giving his brother a wary look.

"Raph stop talking like that, it's a life and has a right to have a chance to grow like any of us," Donnie said harshly.

"A parasite if you ask me," Raph barked.

"Well, we didn't ask you! Now eat!" Donnie spat angrily commending Raph to stop this stubborn streak and do what he was told.

Pushing the plate further away from himself, Raph crossed his arms, "Fuck no! Donnie you might be all pro on this damn pregnancy, but it's not your body! So stop acting like I should give a damn!"

"You might be the one pregnant Raphael, either way that egg is a living thing, and you are damning it before it can even have the chance to hatch. That is selfish!"

"Fuck you Donnie, you have no idea what this feels like, how fuck up I feel! I'm losing my goddamn mind because this thing is doing things to me! I want it out!" Raph roared slamming his fist against the table.

Slowly Mikey walked towards Donnie side just incase Raph lost it completely to his hot rage, luckily after the first outbreak Raph was more than willing to relinquish his sai, making that one variable that either brother had to worry about.

Even then Raph's fist was still a weapon and he had skills to match.

"Calm down dude," Mikey said softly, raising his hands up.

"Stay out of it Mikey!" Raph hissed narrowing his eyes at his little brother.  
"What are you saying Raph? Are you really asking me to... to give you an abortion?!" Donnie stuttered hoping he was just hearing things, and Raph wasn't sincerely asking that.

"What do you think brainiac! I want this fucken leech out of me; it's not natural! All we know it's some freak of nature that will kill us all!"

The rising rage with a mix of deliria, both Mikey and Donnie exchange looks; Raph was having an episode, and this one was showing how much his hormones were off the charts again.

Before either could say something to counter the messed up request or prevent Raph falling any deeper in delusions, Raph threw his hands in the air, "You know what, just stare at me like some psychopath why won't you! Fuck you two; I'm hitting the showers!"

Not another word the hothead stomped away, heading for the bathroom, slamming the door behind him.

In the confines of the bathroom Raph broke down, feeling like his lungs couldn't get enough air.

Rushing towards one of the sinks, he cranked the faucet, splashing cold water on his once again hot body, hoping to just get his face would do the trick.

He did it again, lost his temper; it was awful.

The adrenaline rush and the blood lust boiling up started to consume his common sense.

He was inches away from grabbing Donnie by the neck and throwing a nasty punch in the brother's face.

If he didn't distract himself with the image of water beating down his shell, and how much he longed for that relief, he would have hurt Donnie, he had no doubt in his mind.

How was he to handle this, he could barely keep his cool? No amount of meditation help and Donnie's so-called remedies didn't' work either. If this kept up, getting worse every passing moment, he would soon do something he will regret more than he already has.

Slowly raising his wet face to see the pathetic look on his face in the mirror, Raph sighed.

He wasn't going to make it; this fucked-up pregnancy was either going to kill what made him or kill the ones he loves.

"No matter what I tell Donnie he will never listen... This thing shouldn't exist..." Raph mutter under his breath, placing his hand on the mirror, feeling a fear he never thought could be worse than when he saw Leo die, take a hold of him.

"I need to fix this... End it before it ends us..." Raph told himself in a creepy low voice, his eyes glazed over as he reached for the medicine cabinet, "I need to fix this..."

_~Do it! Show that thing how much you hate it! Feed it your hate and disgust Raphael! Destroy it! Do it! Do it!~_

The cabinet, mainly bare, did have a full bottle of painkillers that Leo left there when he was plagued with his migraines. Leo hated bugging Donnie all the time, so he kept it in the bathroom for easy access.

Popping the lid open, Raph tilted his head on the instructions in a sick twisted amusement.  
 _(Not for children under the age of 12_  
Adults take two when needed 4 hours between, max 4 pills within 24hr.  
Warning, contents can be harmful if used improperly, please advise a doctor if you have any side effects.)

"Yeah, right the doc would tell me not to do this," Raph chuckled at the warning, "Not intended for children under twelve? Is not born count?"

Shrugging Raph took the bottle chucking it back trying his hardest to swallow every pill that poured out of the bottle, feeling many of them sticking to the back of his throat, even hurting it.

With no glass of water to fill to ease the dry mouth, Raph filled the pill bottle up, taking a big gulp of water and then he let his body relax on the bathroom floor as he could swear it started to spin.

"That will show it who is boss... No fucken way.. I ... going...to... have..."


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (TMNT CC are AU based on 2003 version, the turtles are 23)  
> Warning (Rated: M) Disturbing Content, Foul Language, M-Preg?, Character Death,  
> Please Don’t Read if you don’t like this stuff.  
> Disclaimer: TMNT isn’t mine and this is just a fan fiction writing. No money is being made on this story.  
> Summary: Raph is devastated over the lost of his brother, lost in his confusion on how to move on Raph finds himself at a cross roads with choices he never thought he would have to make.

* * *

"Raph? Oh NO! What have you done?!" Mikey screamed in horror as his panicky voice pierced through the darkness.

Wrapped in a haze of confusion Raph was lost within its waves, feeling nothing, seeing nothing. However, the voices of his brothers broke through the veil of his cage here and there.

"Donnie! DONNIE! It's Raph!"

"What... what happened Mikey?"

"This..."

"He took all of them! Mikey hurry, we need to get him to the lab."

Unable to respond to the voices; he could only lay there, hearing the doors to Donnie's lab open and closed.

"I don't want it! I don't want your help!" Raph attempted to respond to the chaos outside only to have his demands fall upon deaf ears.

**~Flash Back~**

"You really don't want my help Raph?" Leo narrowed his eyes at his little brother peering over the barbell.

Growling over the never ending prying that was more accustomed when dealing with Mikey, it was overly annoying to have this ritual performed by his older brother then any other given turtle.

Once again, Raph barked back, "No, I can do this on my own! I don't want your help!"

The weights more than he could handle Raph's pride hindered him from attempting to ask for any form of aid. Struggling to keep the bar from falling onto his chest Raph huffed in frustration. Why did he have to push his limits to the extreme; he was barely doing a hundred and twenty pounds, and he dared to attempt two hundred?

"I don't know Raph..." Leo started, letting out a chuckled on the sight of Raph once again giving him the stink eye, which only made him want to taunt the brother more and even go as far as turning this into some lecture for pure amusement, "Not saying that I don't believe you can't handle it... But we all have our limits, and it doesn't hurt to ask for help time to time."

"Help... HELP!" Raph roared at the imposturous word, that 'he' of all turtles would dare to be hypocritical over, throwing the weights to his side, which crashed into the ground hard.

"Leo you're one to talk about asking for help so don't you dare fucken patronize me!" Raph spat at his leader pushing passed him.

"Raph..."

"No Leo you never ask for help. I mean never, and you stand there telling me its okay to beg for it?"

Getting close to the leader, Raph pointed his thick finger into Leo's plastron, annoying the blue clad turtle by this deed.

"So fearless leader! When you were getting your shell handed by some foot elites what part did you bother asking for help, Huh?" Raph pointed out shoving his beak into Leo's.

"Raph I had no choice!" Leo stood his ground, not allowing Raph to get the upper hand, nor claim dominance over him.

"Had no choice… that is rich L-E-O. What next? Will you take on the Purple Dragons on your own? Oh wait, if the world is invaded by Trysarton you will play hero?"

Pushing his brother back Leo narrowed his eyes showing off the anger that was not common for the eldest brother, "So you're saying I should have put you and our brothers in danger then? Is that what form of action I should have taken?! I knew the elite ninjas would be more than any of us could handle. I didn't want to send any of you to your death beds, for you're my brothers, and I wouldn't know what I would do if I lost any of you!"

Swinging his fist, Raph got Leo dead-on the chin sending the older turtle in the air whom smacked into the wall. Approaching Leo, who was trying to recover Raph didn't allow him to have the luxury in doing so.

"I get it; you wanted to protect us Leo, but you don't get how you royally fucked it up! You can't handle the idea of any of us getting hurt, what about you?" Raph barked grabbing Leo's katana straps pulling the turtle up, pinning him against the wall. "Do you have any idea how that would affect us? Do you think either Donnie or Mikey could handle the idea that you are gone, over the fact you couldn't even bother to rely on us to have your shell?! I thought we were a goddamn team Leo, not some solo act."

"Raph..."

"Shut up Leo let me finish. I thought we worked better together than alone. I know they were strong, but together we could have handled it. Fuck Leo it... it... IT FUCKEN HURT YOU COULDN'T RELY ON ME!" Raph screamed out, feeling his hand shaking in frustration, unable to hold Leo there anymore.

Closing his eyes, Raph let go of Leo making his way for the door, only to have Leo to stop him.

"I'm sorry Raph. I know I messed up, believe me when I say I was an idiot not believing in my team... my brothers. I just wanted to protect you guys no matter what; I never intended to make you feel you're useless, or I can't trust you to have my shell... That was the problem. I knew you would and I feared you would have gotten hurt over the fact I was too weak to handle the elite ninjas on my own."

Sighing Raph turned around, then flicked his brother in the head catching the leader off guard, "You dork, like you said we have our limits, because you couldn't take the jerkwad on your own doesn't mean you're weak. We are your strengths, working as one we can accomplish anything; that's why we should watch each other's shells..."

Hearing these words Leo smiled after that had to chuckle seeing the sudden horrified expression on Raph's face as the little brother just came to the realization of something.

"OH fuck did I almost sound like you?" Raph asked fearfully, getting a satisfied nod from Leo. "Hell this isn't' good... I need a beer, maybe two... What if I start thinking or talking like MIKEY!"

Rolling his eyes, Leo burst into laughter, "The day you do that, don't worry, I will send you to Doctor Donnie right away. Having one in this household is enough... Though one could mistaken your bandana to be orange if we bleach it a bit."

Shuddering at the thought, Raph's eyes widened in pure horror, "Fuck that! Leo that is... is just wrong, don't you ever dare to joke like that again."

"Oh come on Raph, you will look soooo cute in orange," Leo beamed avoiding the sudden fist coming at his head once more.

"Leo shut up, shut up!"

**~End of Flash Back~**

"Shut UP!" Raph reared up feeling two sets of hands slamming his body back down forcefully.

"Raph settle down," Donnie's voice commanded.

"Yeah Dude, you got to stop this," Mikey said after Donnie, holding his ground and not allowing Raph from moving another inch.

"What?" Raph asked suddenly snapping back into reality looking at his brothers.

Pale and weak, Raph let his body settle hearing the sigh of relief from his brothers in return, which only lasted for a second before Donnie was all into Raph's face.

"What were you thinking? Really Raph, do you have a death wish? Oding on drugs?" Donnie growled staring Raph down with his sharp brown eyes.

Confusion like a cloud, fogged Raph's mind, then suddenly it cleared making him recall what he did in the bathroom.

"I wasn't trying to kill myself!" Raph finally responded mortified that his brother thought that was what he was trying to accomplish.

"Oh no, then what were you doing? Don't tell me the pill bottle just jumped off the shelf and forced itself down your throat so you had no choice to swallow its contents."

"Donnie for fuck sakes, I was doing what you wouldn't do for me!"

Shock Donnie shook his head before slapping Raph in the face, "You stupid shell head, imbecile! Don't you get it; that egg in you is your child! A living being that has a right to live!" pointing a finger at him, Donnie didn't let the older brother dare sneak in a word until he was done. "I know it's your body; I know you think its some leech. Nevertheless, as an adult and a parent to be, you also have to consider that it's your right and duty to protect your own kin! You would protect Mikey or me, so why not this hatchling?"

Rearing his head away from him, Raph closed his eyes, "For it's not natural! You say it's my child what proof do you have? We don't even have a clue how this abomination was created!"

"I understand you might be suffering with teratophobia Raph… But what you did could have made that into reality!"

"Teratophobia? What the shell are you blabbering about Donnie?" Raph snarled hating when Donnie uses words he has no clue to the meaning, he always ended up feeling so stupid for not understanding them.

"Teratophobia is a condition that a new mother or your case father who is fearful of their unborn child being born malformed…. Deformed, a monster in a way. You were stating it's an abomination is a clear sign, not including you trying to make yourself to have an abortion! Do you have any idea what you could have done?" Donnie slammed his hand down on the bed, narrowing his eyes at Raph.

"What huh?" Raph could only say even his little attitude within his words felt weak.

"You could have messed up the child's development with those pills! It could be a physical deformity or mental!" Donnie yelled at his brother, flinging his arms in the air as he walked away. He was furious with Raph and this stupid stunt.

"Well…"

"No Raph you're this child's father; heaven forbid you were the one this poor soul had to be stuck with… You were all about family… Now its all about you," Donnie coldly said walking out of the room.

"It's not about me!" Raph yelled back only to see Mikey shake his head, "What? You're on his side too!"

"No dude, I'm on that kid's side… Raph your thinking about yourself since you won't let it have a chance… What if that was you, or Leo? What if the child is part of Leo too?" Mikey said quietly rubbing his arm.

Raising an eyebrow, Raph growled in disgust, "Leo! I don't know where you got that idea Mikey but like hell I want to know! I'm out of here!"

Raph got up pushing the nausea back, which tried to take him over; he wanted some fresh air, anything to clear his head.

"What, wait you can't!" Mikey tried to stop him only to have the larger turtle push him to the side.

"I am and I will!" Raph took two steps forward, then suddenly felt a slight pinch in the back of his neck.

"Sorry Raphie… Donnie told me if you pull anything, I should sedate you…" Mikey whimpered pulling away from Raph's sluggishly swinging fist.

"Damn it Mikey… why.. I …" Raph started to slur his words as the room swirl out of control, "I hate you Mike…"

In the shadows, he felt his body fall and Mikey whispering to him, "Please don't… I love you Raphie… we all do…"

**~Flash Back ?~**

He stood there in front of the calm scenery, one he missed so much. The small pond before him glistened in the sunlight, as its rays kissed his skin welcomely. On the old wooden dock was Leo staring at something within the water.

"We should come to the farm more often," Raph announced his presence waiting for Leo to turn around to comment back on how he startled him.

However, that never happened.

Feeling off Raph took a step as his mind told him that wasn't how this was to play out.

Pushing the deja vu that should be consuming him, Raph took another step, going off script to the memory he once had for this event.

"Leo?" Raph slowly reached out finding his vision became tunneled, and the color around him started to fade away.

A sigh came from the big brother as only his head turned slightly for Raph to see his gray eyes starting to fade to white.

"Leo what is going on?" Raph asked, stopping his attempts to reach his brother, everything seemed off, even his eyes now looked like they were dead to him.

"You have to destroy it, Raph. It's wrong. It's going to kill you and everything you love. Kill it, destroy it," Leo coldly stated in a calm unnatural voice.

Taking a step back Raph felt confused, "What are you talking about Leo… This… this didn't happened, you were to tell me some head-banging bullshit like usual and we… we would start arguing and end up in the water laughing our heads off in the end!"

"Raphael listened to me. It's evil! Kill it. You have no choice," Leo turned around making Raph gasp in horror. His body was full of black blotches, and maggots scrounged for nutrients from his rotten corpse.

"Leo…"

"RAPHAEL YOU HAVE TO LISTEN!" the voice commanded in a harsher tone, taking a step forward, "Look at what it did to me!"

Shaking his head, Raph tried to run, yet his legs wouldn't, they just remained frozen in their spot.

Closer the dead brother approached him, continuously telling him to get rid of this child he was caring.

Wanting to scream, Raph shuddered as the brother was inches from him, then suddenly a warm hand took Raph's and a whisper on the wind called to him warmly, "Don't be afraid Raph you're not alone. I'm here just like you have always been here for me."

The voice so soothing Raph grasped the hand in desperation to escape this nightmare, feeling the presence of his brother that should be, not this dead thing that been coming at him.

**~End of Flash Back?~**

Gasping for air like he had a lack of it, Raph reared up quickly finding himself in his room. Luckily, someone was considerate to put him on his bed, then his hammock, or he would have met the floor unpleasantly.

Raph in his confusion wildly looking around coming to the realization, he was awake and not in that horrible place.

"Was that… really a nightmare?" Raph whimpered to himself as his hand slowly went down to his stomach. This nightmare wasn't like any other… it was too real, what was going on?


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (TMNT CC are AU based on 2003 version, the turtles are 23)  
> Warning (Rated: M) Disturbing Content, Foul Language, M-Preg?, Character Death,  
> Please Don’t Read if you don’t like this stuff.  
> Disclaimer: TMNT isn’t mine and this is just a fan fiction writing. No money is being made on this story.  
> Summary: Raph is devastated over the lost of his brother, lost in his confusion on how to move on Raph finds himself at a cross roads with choices he never thought he would have to make.

* * *

**Three weeks later**

The red clad turtle reluctantly stared at the boring wall that made watching grass grow a promising way in passing the time.

How long has it been since he had these brick walls as his new prison?

With his attempt to get rid of this thing residing within him, he has been shackled to the confinement of the lair, not allowed outside or even left alone, for the most part.

The privacy in going for a shit was now a lost privilege he used to have.

He was on suicide watch from the younger brothers who made it clear as rain to him that he wasn't to be on his own, or permitted to take any action to prevent this.

Making a solemn oath he would behave, not that he had much of a choice, he didn't disobey his brothers' rules, yet again like that was even an option. Donnie to assure this wouldn't go south took some desperate steps; Raph would call it.

Upping the security within the lair to lock him in if he dared to take a step near any exit was for starters. Then there was the damn sensor that read his every movement… He wouldn't be surprised Donnie was recording every activity he took part, including a subtle passing of air, didn't go unnoticed.

Sighing Raph closed his eye,s letting his head take the comfort of his pillow. At least in his room, he had a bit more privacy since his brothers removed anything that Raph could use to harm himself. They wouldn't even let him keep his weights or his bike gear, stating it will only make him want to leave more.

Depressing it was becoming, to think it was bad enough he had to go through this disgusting pregnancy, but to be a prisoner in his own home?

**~Flash Back~**

"RRRaaaahhhh! This is a waste of my fucken time!" Raph raged, kicking the rusted can across the dump site, missing Leo's head by an inch.

Sighing the big brother turned his attention to his temperamental brother, who was starting to brew yet another storm.

"Raphael calm down," Leo insisted, looking about to make sure Donnie wasn't in earshot, not that the genius brother would take notice of Raph sudden mood swing, engulfed in his own little world.

"Calm down Leo?" Raph crossed his arms narrowing his eyes at him, suddenly feeling irked over his always calm brother. "Why the shell should I? Come on Leo you can't be standing there thinking this is a great way to waste our night, rummaging this dump for useless trash. It is called a dump for a reason!"

Smiling sweetly knowing it always worked on the hotheaded brother, Raph turned red swiftly looking away from Leo, hating how he could just do that without showing he was mocking him.

"Raph I have to agree..." Leo started making Raph blink wildly in confusion, which forced him to interrupt Leo hastily with another complaint.

"Then why are we hanging around here for? We should be doing something important, like tracking down those thugs that gang up on that guy the night before almost killing him. Fucken hate crimes; the douchebags need a little lesson from me, which will make them think twice before daring to harm some innocent kid for he was black."

Letting out another sigh, Leo agreed but there was more to this, "I understand how you feel Raph, but we already know Nobody is on that one as the rumors have spread, so we don't have to worry about it."

Flinging his arms in the air Raph growled in disgust that Leo was so chillax on the subject, "So instead of helping we think this is more important!"

"It is significant Raph," Leo pointed out stepping forward noticing the steam coming from Raph's ear holes. Before the hothead could protest once more, Leo continued, glancing at him with an icy stare, warning Raph to let him finish, without another outrage beforehand. "Raph you are aware Donnie is working on a new security system. In order for him to make this system that will protect us all in our lair without worry of sudden intrusions, he needs the parts. This is the only place he can find it."

Biting his lip, Raph sighed, letting himself simmer down a little, "Fine I get it, but why now?"

"Because Donnie wants to get it done sooner than later."

"He sounds paranoid to me," Raph huffed.

"Yes, but you know Donnie; he worries about his family and wants to do everything in his power to protect us. With all the time he spends on this system, don't you think the least we can do is help him look for the parts he needs? Not that we can help him in any other way," Leo said smoothly coming up to Raph placing his hand on the brother's shoulder.

Letting it all out and his anger now being overwhelmed by his guilt for his rash outburst, for not looking at the picture in front of him, Raph nodded.  
"Yeah, I guess your right, Donnie-boy can be paranoid in a good way I guess. Fine I will help, but he'd better not make me do all the fucken heavy lifting!"

Chuckling Leo shook his head, "Don't worry, he won't..." Leo started to walk away, then quickly added, "I will."

"LEO!"

**~Flash Back Over~**

"Donnie is just plain paranoid... That will never change," Raph muttered to himself, letting out a tiresome yawn and stretching his arms up only to give notice to the nosey little beak peeking over his bed edge.

Rolling his eyes, Raph didn't bother turning his head in that direction, "Yes Mikey."

Popping up like a Jack in the Box over being addressed, Mikey tilted his head at Raph in curiosity, or was he looking at him like he was some nutcase?

The usually blabber mouth turtle, oddly silent at the moment, giving Raph a chill that traveled up his spine. To shake it off, he leaned up flicking Mikey in the forehead to snap him out of the daze.

With a painful screech that was obviously overplayed, Mikey sulked holding his head like Raph punched him or something on that line.

"Well shell for brains, are you going to say something or do I have to beat it out of you?" Raph smirked; he wasn't angry mellower than not.

He figured it was due to the antidepressant drugs Donnie presently demanded he had to be on until he showed clear signs he was passed the whole let's kill the unborn child.

"What were you doing Raphie?" Mikey cautiously asked, shifting his feet in the manner he was holding something back.

"Huh? Laying here numb nuts! What the fuck yeah think I was doing... and stop fidgeting its annoying as hell, Mikey," Raph spat sitting up, lightly slamming his shell into the wall to get comfortable, his stomach was a pain, and he found it awkward sitting at times.

"Oh, just wondering… you didn't respond to me when I came in or when I waved my hand in front of your face," Mikey pointed out biting his lip as he did. Was he trying to read him?

"When the fuck did you do that?" Raph asked quickly raising an eyebrow not sure what Mikey was talking about.

"Just now. Then suddenly you muttered something about Donnie, and you were acting normal again."

Blinking on what Mikey was saying Raph was lost for words, then unexpectedly, he came to a conclusion. Was this something to do with that thing inside him? Did he just black out?

Keeping that suspicion to himself Raph thought about how he could use what happened to his advantage as a brilliant idea came to mind. Something he would have to admit doesn't come up so often, and he wondered why didn't he try this one on for size before.

"Man Mikey I don't know what the fuck you're talking about... Maybe being locked up here day in and day out with no fresh air is getting to me... Shit," Raph said making sure he laid down the guilt, then acted like he didn't mean to say any of that. Turning white Raph looked at Mikey horrified, "I mean... don't tell Donnie, I don't want more drugs!"

Feeling sympathetic over his brother's predicament, Mikey shook his head, "You need fresh air don't you bro."

Nodding slowly, looking down at his hands to play the part more Raph sighed deeply, "Yeah... Hell it has been a while since I have seen Casey and hanged out even, considering you guys made it that it was wise, he stayed away until Donnie gave me a clean bill of health."

Hook, line and sinker, Mikey took the bait, not that he would catch on Raph has been playing him, since that wasn't Raph style. Nevertheless, Raph was desperate to get out and get that fresh air and talk to someone who would understand how he felt about this.

"Okay bro, I will talk to Donnie and see what we can do. If I escort you to Casey, and you promise me you will stay put until I come pick you up; I don't see it being an issue, and you have been better since Donnie put you on that medication."

Smiling weakly, not too much to show how overjoyed he felt inside to sucker Mikey this well, Raph nodded innocently letting his brother feel like the hero of this story, "Thanks Mikey that will be great."

* * *

**(2hrs later)**

Sitting in the car, Raph let his legs stretch that was most overdue.

Feeling the victory of freedom he stared out towards the city lights as they flashed by.

With Mikey behind the wheel, the younger turtle convinced Donnie with an impressive performance of his own, making it look like this was his idea, which in the end forced Donnie to reluctantly agree that Raph was permitted to go visit Casey on a few terms that is.

First off, most of the terms were for Casey. Once, Donnie got a hold of the human that was more than happy to have Raph as company, he quickly did agree to Donnie's rules over the visitation.

What exact exchanged words and terms occurred, unfortunately it was between them only, which meant Raph wasn't sure what they were and sadly the fact Mikey wouldn't give details for once keeping his mouth shut, he didn't know what to expect.

Now for the rules surrounding Raph, which he could accommodate, oddly finding them fair, and he was more than willing to agree not to screw his only moment of freedom.

He was to stay at Casey's until Mikey or Donnie picked him up. By no means was he allowed to leave Casey's apartment and if Casey believes Raph was acting ill manor he has a right to shorten the visit by calling Donnie.

If Raph by any chance tries to prevent Casey in calling him, the punishment will be this kind of visit will never happen again. However, if Raph does get out of hand and doesn't prevent Casey in calling he will not suffer any repercussions and be allowed another visit in the future when Raph is in a better state of mind.

In the end here he was minutes away from Casey's place.

"We are here bro," Mikey announced killing the transmission looking at all the mirrors to make sure there wasn't a soul in the alleyway that was beside Casey's building.

Parking before the fire escape that was their entry way to Casey's place Mikey nodded to Raph opening his door. The cool breeze whipped around Mikey to avoid him, just to greet Raph instantly.

It didn't take long until Raph too was out of the stuffy car that smelled like weeks old pizza.

Did Mikey ever take any pride over his car and give it a good cleaning now and then?

This was one of many reasons; Raph in normal circumstances, refused a ride in that rust bucket, complaining of its sticky seats that love to fuse with Raph's skin and even screeched with horror when Raph tried to remove himself from it.

To even how the over exhausted outdated car huffed and popped as it bounced down the street, making sure to let you know when it went over some pothole as your head hit its worn-out carpet ceiling making you want to wash your head right away, over the fear of lice.

Ah the fresh air was welcoming, as Raph followed Mikey to the fire escape while he found himself tugging the black hoodie that didn't sit well over his growing stomach.

Though he normally didn't care about wearing clothes, unless he was undercover pretending to be a human, he didn't want Casey's eyes, eyeing the area where the abomination was located.

Hell he wanted no one looking at him in anyways, acknowledging that he was pregnant.

"Okay Raph, we should take this easy; it's best that you go first, and I follow behind. If there is any sign of fatigue, or you feel off at all, let me know and we will find another way to Casey's apartment," Mikey said with a hint of worry scaling his eyes up to the top apartment. He didn't like the idea that Raph had to climb a ladder or take such a journey in his condition.

Ignoring the over-protective brother, Raph rolled his eyes not making a comment that would turn out to be sarcastic and rude, taking the bar firmly in his hand.

With a deep breath, making sure, Mikey didn't catch that, fearing the younger brother's alarms would go off; Raph took one step at a time, feeling how much this action was straining his body.

Never in his life, he felt like this, not even when he was injured and felt death was at his front door, that even came close to equal to what he is experiencing at the moment.

Pausing half-way up, Raph flashed over his shoulders, becoming overwhelmed by the feeling of someone watching him.

He wasn't sure what it was, yet all he knew such a feeling comes with training as a ninja and ignoring it could be dire.

Just as his view focused on the area he could have sworn he caught the tail end of someone dressed in a black cloak was standing, the horrible sensation dawned on him more, making his palm sweat. Whatever it was, it gave him the impression of dread and death making him wish he never dared to turn around at all.

This didn't waver even after nothing out of the ordinary was seen above the other buildings, even to his left and right, as he flashed a glance at both directions revealing nothing at all, however, he still couldn't shake this off.

Snapping out of his panic state that he wasn't aware he was in, Mikey was directly under him softly touching his leg calling his name, "Raphie? What is wrong, are you okay?"

Blinking and pushing the experience to the side Raph tilted his head down seeing Mikey's eyes widen in horror, "Raph are you feeling ill! You look pale!"

"I…" Raph said weakly, biting his lip, trying his darnist to recover from what was happening to him, "I'm fine Mikey. I just got very nauseous, sorry I almost puked on you."

The little fib told, the younger turtle took it by heart feeling relieved that it wasn't something serious, not that he didn't think getting puked on wasn't, it was better than Raph passing out and falling or something on that line.

"Raph, we should hurry then, can you make it?" Mikey asked, tilting his head to determine how much further they must climb.

Nodding Raph looked up feeling the ladder, he swore didn't go much higher, was now miles away to his destination that should be only a few more steps.

Gulping Raph bit his lip, keeping this from Mikey and kept his eyes focused on the brick wall as he continued, which helped a lot. This seemed the best way to the window, and he didn't feel like this was going to take an eternity.

To his relief, he found himself at the landing before he knew it and there was Casey's window wide open ready for visitors of the turtle kind.

Slipping in without hesitation Raph almost scurried out the window only to smack into Mikey that jumped by the suddenly fleeing act.

"Raph what is wrong now?" Mikey blinked at Raph in confusion, one sec he was rushing to get in and now rushing out like the house was on fire.

"We are in the wrong apartment!" Raph blurred out wondering why Mikey was looking at him like he was crazy.

"This is Casey's apartment dude."

"Like hell it is! It's to clean; no way in hell, it can be this clean!" Raph pointed to the spotless floor that had the strong scent of pine.

"I resent that Raph!" a familiar voice barked in frustration behind him.

The red clad turtle turning around saw the underline expression on his best friend's face that looked as wild as ever, ready to pounce on him over such an insult, just to change quickly as his eyes went down toward the area that Raph was trying to get Casey to avoid looking at.

Calming down Casey sighed, going to his favorite chair that too was clean and looked like it was steamed to get all the years of grime that Casey infested it with.

"Fine April gave me a hand," Casey grumbled the truth as both turtles started to chuckle, seeing now how this made sense and would be the only reasonable explanation on how it could be as tidy as it was.

"Oh well, that explains things, so she cleaned your pigsty while you what watched her ass as she did? Can't see you contribute in any other way," Raph grinned wildly loving how Casey was holding back to smack him, "Or was a sexual favor in the mix, and she was more than willing?"

Choking on Raph's words, Casey turned white, as Mikey too looked stunned by the comment. Swallowing hard Casey bit his lip, "Raph are you feeling alright?"

"I'm fine. What is your two problems?" Raph huffed crossing his arms.

Choosing his words wisely, Mikey spoke up, "You never joke about sex or speak like that period."

"Or say it so casually, you tell me to shut up when I joke about it," Casey pointed out the odd behavior; Raph jokes about a lot of things, but sex has always been off the table and the way he said it was abnormal for the red clad turtle.

Unsure how to turn the table on this and worried that Mikey might make the decision that it would be best he went home; Raph cleared his throat, "Sorry I will keep my beak shut… I just feel pukish okay…"

Sighing Mikey held his chin as he debated what he should do, "Raph do you want to go home, if you're not feeling well?"

Quickly, Raph flashed a look towards Mikey shaking his head wildly, "No no no! That is not what I'm saying I just need a drink of water, and I will be fine. I guess this apartment is so clean; it did my head in," Raph hoped it would change the topic, and it did the trick.

"Oh sure, now we are back to blaming my apartment; it wasn't that bad!" Casey argued leaning forward.

"Yes it was!" both Raph and Mikey admitted. To butter them both up to forget what he said beforehand, Raph continued, "We live in the sewers, and your place is worse than anything we came across!"

"Oh really, we are going there, are we Raph! Bring it freak!" Casey fired up, inches away from taking off from his seat only to have Mikey cross his arms getting between them.

"Casey you had promised Donnie you wouldn't horse play with Raph since he shouldn't be in such physical contact," Mikey reminded Casey waving his finger in front of the human's face.

Feeling guilty Casey sighed settling into his seat once again, "Sorry Mikey, I forgot for a second, but I promise I won't do it again."

"Good, I see Raph is feeling better," Mikey went to Raph feeling his head only to have the brother rear away from the hand, "I will go home, if anything comes up, Casey call us right away."

"Sure do," Casey answered back watching Mikey disappearing into the night and hearing the sad car try to start, then to rattle to life as it started to fade in the distance.

Once Casey felt confident that they were alone, he tilted his head at Raph with a mix of feelings, which the turtle had no clue what was on the human's mind.

Then it came, the one thing he was dreading yet it was inevitable, "So this isn't some bullshit, and you're pregnant?"

Rolling his eyes, Raph leaned his shell on the couch's arm to stretch his legs, "Yes dumb ass and don't ask me how it fucken feels, or if I feel okay!"

Annoyed by the rash response to something he was taking seriously, Casey huffed, "Well sorry asshole. It's not everyday you find out your best friend that is a guy is preggers."

"Yeah really, its fucken wrong!" Raph started seeing Casey become frantic by his response.

"Oh, don't tell me you're with my brothers on that I should take this as something that is normal!" Raph growled, not even two seconds in, he finds out Casey is too on 'the leech has rights to live' train?

Biting his tongue on the response he would have given in his anger state, Casey let himself to think before lashing out, "Of course, cause I don't find it normal Raph! But the same time I see why your brothers are trying to help you see that this isn't as bad as you are making it to be."

"Oh hell Casey! You do realize there is no way in hell I should be like this right?! It shouldn't exist, yet you all avoid the underlying fact. How am I pregnant and what is it really?"

"What are you saying Raph? What do you think it is?" Casey asked the question, the one he knew he shouldn't have, but he needed to understand why Raph was going in the deep end this much. It was one thing Raph was freaked out to be pregnant, another wanting to kill it without remorse.

"A demon!" Raph blurred out suddenly catching himself by surprise. He wasn't thinking that harshly and didn't understand where that came from.

Then to make the creep factor go off the scale, Raph swore he felt it move, insulted by his statement, though couldn't see how that was possible if it was in an egg!

"Raph…" Casey started only to get off his chair quickly in response to Raph dashing to the window, "Wait. Where do you think you're going?"

"Sorry Casey I can't do this! I'm losing my mind and…, and I think it's this things fault. I need it gone before… before I do something harmful to the ones I care about," Raph told Casey just before leaping out of the window disappearing into the night.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (TMNT CC are AU based on 2003 version, the turtles are 23)  
> Warning (Rated: M) Disturbing Content, Foul Language, M-Preg?, Character Death,  
> Please Don’t Read if you don’t like this stuff.  
> Disclaimer: TMNT isn’t mine and this is just a fan fiction writing. No money is being made on this story.  
> Summary: Raph is devastated over the lost of his brother, lost in his confusion on how to move on Raph finds himself at a cross roads with choices he never thought he would have to make.

* * *

Pushing forward, he ignored the protesting body that wanted him to stop and take a breather. He had no such luxury to do such a thing, not after he made his mind up and taking such a leap as this.

He needed to find someone, anyone that was willing to get this thing out of him that wouldn't string him up as a trophy in the process.

That was the hard part, who would deal with a five-six-foot turtle and not want to mount him on their wall afterwards?

Sliding down one of the tile roofs Raph landed silently on the rocky roof that overlooked the shady part of town.

The part you in your right mind, avoided if you didn't want to be mugged or kidnapped and to be sold as parts in the black market.

Eyeing his surrounding Raph felt uneasy with this decision, yet he didn't have many options to go with, and he wasn't sure how much time he had to play.

There were two posing factors against him other then time itself, how long until this thing corrupted him to the point, there was no return?

He had lashed out on Donnie, blacking out the event and the dreams were becoming more violent and detailed to the point he was unattached to fathom what was reality anymore, becoming confused over if they were real or not.

Every passing day, that line has become blurred to the point he had moments he couldn't tell what side he was on, fearing his actions and what he might or might not do.

To top this off, he has been on more than one occasion, saying and doing things he didn't understand why, not sure where it came from or why he would even do that.

Then there was the other matter that's been haunting him, Mikey pointed out that he has been spacing out, which wasn't normal for him or anyone at that.

Lastly the thing that has been choking him the most was the few other moments where he had visions of Leo dead, begging him to kill this thing.

It happened three times since the first time, heck, one of those occasions was when he was taking a bath, he almost drowned himself in the process, which unfortunately for him Donnie took it as Raph trying to kill it again.

The second time it happened during a moment, they were watching a movie, luckily they were watching a horror and Raph screaming to get out of the nightmare was at the same moment the creature in the flick came jumping out also making Mikey jump in fright.

That time, fortunately, was unnoticed, for neither brother took it the wrong way only laughing at how scared Raph was and giving him an excuse for his ear deafening scream.

The last one was at the dinner table, and he was actually in the middle of a conversation with Donnie. At that moment, he passed out having Donnie hovering above him trying to awaken him, panicking as he did so.

Closing his eyes, Raph took a deep long breath, he needed to get this over with sooner on the fact by now Mikey and Donnie were searching for him and would stop him.

Hell, he wouldn't be surprised that April and Casey were helping out.

As soon as he put one foot before the other to continue, a sudden vibe took over him as he felt a set of watchful eyes upon him.

Unlike the ones that were stalking him at Casey's apartment, these didn't feel as threatening, yet he knew it wasn't his family.

Aiming for his sais, Raph kicked himself for not having them. He had forgotten that Donnie forced him to relinquish them, and he was unarmed.

Biting his lip, Raph snapped his head towards the area, he was certain that someone was prowling in the shadows.

Hiding his nervousness and anxiety that were building up for he wasn't in the mood for any shit hitting the fan, Raph made sure his voice didn't stutter, showing he wasn't someone who should be messed with.

"Who the hell is there? Show yourself!" Raph ordered, finding himself growling in animosity over who came out.

"Karai!" Raph spat out in a venomous tone, cursing her name, "What do you want! Here to take my life now too?!"

Surprised at his question the ninja who never before showed her emotions on her face, turned white on the accusation, as Raph got an odd feeling from her, "I nor the foot had anything to do.." Karai's eyes became soft full of sadness and regret, "Had anything to do with Leo's death."

It was painfully obvious just saying Leo's name was striking at Karai's heart, making Raph lose the defensive stance.

"Then do you know who is? I thought it was one of you or at least a rogue group," Raph demanded an answer.

Collecting herself, Karai shook her head, "We have no clue either. Our investigation into the matter on who made such a device is a mystery to us as well. I assure you Raphael, we might have our differences; we wouldn't take another ninja's life so dishonorable."

"Hell with honor, what do you know about honor Karai? Honor or the law didn't stop the Shred Head from nearly destroying the city!" Raph reminded the female ninja that her former master was a nutcase; hell bent for his own selfish desires that practically driven the foot to the ground.

"That was the past Raphael! We are not what we're once were. I know you can't trust me nor is there anything I can say to prove we had no part in your brother's death, but I'm not here for that."

Narrowing his eyes, Raph shifted his feet, wondering what she came to him then. What would be so important that she would show herself to him of all brothers in knowledge Raph would probably kill her for his brother's death? If it wasn't the fact, he was unarmed, she wouldn't have gotten far with this talk, and he would have struck her down before she batted an eyelash. Either way, it was a gutsy move on her part.

"Then tell me, what is it that you want from me?" Raph crossed his arms, hoping he was standing tall enough to show her even though unarmed he was still a threat if trifled with.

Revealing her business side, that was extremely serious, she glanced at Raph stomach. then willingly without fear stared into his golden eyes, "We came across a rumor that you are pregnant with a child who makes no sense and conception was around the time of your brother's death."

Losing his shit, Raph marched up to her, not caring she wasn't backing off, "Where the hell did you hear that from?"

Karai not allowing the alarmed and frustrated turtle to intimidate her, she stood her ground, "I said it was a rumor, and by the way you're acting, it's genuine. As it is true, the only reason you are here with no escort is that you're trying to get an abortion am I right?"

"What is it to you? It's none of your fucken business!" Raph spat in her face turning away to make his leave, he could tell she wasn't going to harm him, so he took it in his power to prove to her; he wasn't afraid of her or the fact she knew the truth about him.

"It is my business Raphael for I have a proposition, I think you would be quite interested in," Karai said in a snaky tone, making Raph turn his head towards her.

Raising his eyebrow. giving her a disturbing look, Raph found himself answering other than telling her off, "What are you looking for? And what proposition?"

The female ninja pleased that she caught his attention, smiled mischievously, "We want that child you're caring."

"WHAT!" Raph almost fell over the unexpected interest in the thing inside him, "No way!"

"Aren't you going to kill it? I can offer it a life Raphael, a world where it will never be hunted and never will be treated as a monster."

"That doesn't matter, I would never give the foot this child!" Raph found himself becoming overly protective.

Even Karai was a bit taken off guard with the sudden demeanor Raph was displaying.

Cautiously thinking over her next step Karai softened her features, "Raphael you just stated you wanted nothing to do with this child and willing to have an abortion. What are the chances that one of these people… wouldn't take some prize from you in the process? Many would kill you to sell your body parts on the black market without hesitation."

Moving forward, passing by him, she watched Raph while he was contemplating her proposal so far, once he had enough time to think about what she said so far, she continued to sweeten the deal. "What I am offering is a benefit to all parties. We will extract the egg when it's ready, in turn, we gain an asset to the foot, as you're not only getting rid of the thing you despise the most, we the foot will make a treaty with you and your brothers that will never be broken."

"Treaty?" Raph asked hastily a bit wearily, yet curiously at what she was trying to offer.

Smiling more, Karai knew that would get him, "Yes a treaty. The foot clan will leave your family be, will never interfere and leave New York in your capable hands."

Raph hesitated on a response, finding this a bit fishy as he cleared his head to find the right questions to ask. Finally finding one that suited the situation Raph look at Karai straight in the face, "How can you just say the foot would leave if they get this child? That seems like a big move over some leech."

"That leech as you may call it, has more value and promises then this city has for us. I have consulted with the other branches, and they agree this would be a promising trade and willing to let this city that the unspeakable old Shredder tarnished," Karai answered truthfully.

Falling into silence, Raph closed his eyes to think this over.  
This wasn't something that should be taken light hearted... It was too good to be true; then again, she was right. What did he care about this thing?

He was going to get an abortion what harm would it be to let the foot to have it?

This would insure him to get rid of it without harm towards him, though the idea going full term with it was terrifying.

However, if he watched it and takes all precautions on his end to ensure he wouldn't do something harmful to his family; he should be able to make it.

Besides, they can take it out sooner than his due date, so what if it was premature?

**_~Flash Back~_ **

He cried, holding his knee like some war wound. The young turtle let the waterfall run with not a care as Raph steadily approached him, still feeling the sting of his anger lingering slowly, crumbling at the sight of Leo being hurt.

Gulping Raph came up to his brother only to witness Leo suddenly shuddering and looking away from him with a mix of feelings, including fear.

"You don't want me!" Leo said out of the blue, catching Raph off guard.

"What?" Raph could only reply looked at Leo's scraped up knee that he must have injured when he was running away from Raph.

Moments ago after finding his favorite toy broken in pieces, at first the hotheaded child was going to blame the youngest brother subsequently to realize the real culprit was Leo, that led to giving chase, then this.

"I said you don't want me! You hate me Raphie!" Leo screamed, with eyes full of tears.

"I didn't say I hated you L-E-O! I told you, you're mean for breaking my toy" Raph crossed his arms huffing under his breath.

"That is because you told Donnie you wished I never existed and… and wanted me to go for you hate me," Leo answered pouting as tears started to form in his eyes once again.

Raph blinking at the accusation turn white, he did say that... but didn't mean it. He was mad that Leo was showing off and father was paying more attention to him.

Sighing Raph leaned forward, giving Leo a hug that startled the older brother, before Leo could protest Raph said softly, "I'm sorry, I don't hate you, and if you didn't exist… I would be lonely. Do you forgive me Leo?"

**_~Flash back ended~_ **

Feeling the guilt, Raph looked up noticing Karai was looking at him funny, "Is everything alright Raphael, you just blank out there."

Raph not believing it happened again covered the underlying question with his answer, "I will make the deal on a few conditions."

Not seeing the point to inquiring what just occurred Karai nodded, waiting on the condition to be told.

"I want to make sure you understand that this treaty will be met with no hidden agendas and want it in writing from your clan. The other is when you take this thing you leave me intact, no samples for your collection and not a word of this deal will reach my brothers got it?!"

Seeing that was possible Karai nodded on the conditions, "Very well, is that all?"

"No, one other thing, if I come to you demanding you to take it out even if I'm not due yet, you will do it."

"Only if we believe it is safe for both you and child, then yes, we will claim the child before your due date if you request it," Karai agreed all so humbly.

"Good, we have a deal then," Raph stated taking his leave; he has been out too long and needed to head home.

He had to think of some grand excuse why he left Casey's apartment and to ensure he could leave the lair on a later date, when he needed the thing taken out of him.

There was another important factor he had to take measures towards to ensure neither his brothers know anything about this deal until it was done and over with.

Which he knew that would be easy enough; the hardest of all was once again gaining their trust, which was another matter and not an easy one to perform.

All he could do was make sure he was a good turtle until the day he finally fulfills his part of the deal.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (TMNT CC are AU based on 2003 version, the turtles are 23)  
> Warning (Rated: M) Disturbing Content, Foul Language, M-Preg?, Character Death,  
> Please Don’t Read if you don’t like this stuff.  
> Disclaimer: TMNT isn’t mine and this is just a fan fiction writing. No money is being made on this story.  
> Summary: Raph is devastated over the lost of his brother, lost in his confusion on how to move on Raph finds himself at a cross roads with choices he never thought he would have to make.

 

* * *

The buzzing of the TV consumed the living room as the channels changed to one number to another, flicking by all because one indecisive turtle was unable to make up his mind.

Raph just wasn't the mood to even take the energy to surf through the thousands of useless channels that the majority had the exact same show and episode playing.

Not even the sports channels peak his interest making him lazily stare at the tubes that collage the wall before him.

The only thing that prevented him in giving up and moving from his spot was the light snoring from Mikey in who had his head propped comfortably against Raph's shoulder.

A while ago during a movie that Mikey that eagerly begged Raph to watch with him, turn to be an instant sleeping spell, casting Mikey into a slumber with only ten minutes in.

Naturally, Raph was a bit annoyed, however, astonishing as it was, he didn't bother removing himself from the picture letting the brother use him as his personal pillow.

There was another factor at play; he had to keep the façade up of being the good turtle.

He has been trying his hardest in playing the calm and collected brother, casting aside his normal brooding personality in the closet until another day.

He had his plans; he had been very patient with what was going on just to win their favor, so when the day came when he would gladly trade this thing for his brother's well-being to come to pass; they wouldn't think for a second he was up to something and then try to stop him.

He would admit though, this wasn't a simple task by far.

It was one thing to control his anger; it was another to control the flashing mood swings that took him by a storm, blaming them on his hormones like Donnie has suggested.

He managed to get his brothers around his thick green finger using Mikey like tactics that made him want to gouge his eyes out for daring to stooping so low.

Nevertheless, on how he hated himself for his actions and was actually disgusted; Raph had no choice, especially of late. He knew he was hitting the threshold where he could remove the abomination without consequences for either, him or it.

Sighing finding nothing of worth watching Raph looked at Mikey that slept soundly.

There was one thing he could be proud of with all his cloak and daggers performance, was that both Mikey and Donnie have been quite happy.  
He noticed the change like night and day, something he hasn't witnessed after Leo's death.

Which was great, yet, deep down, he just hoped it wasn't over the thing that wasn't going to be part of this family…

**~Flash Back~**

"Raph… have you ever regretted something to the point you feel like it's eating you alive?" Leo asked suddenly not turning his head, keeping his eyes on the glowing city that was peaceful for once.

"No," Raph answered in returned.

"Oh…" Leo only stated as Raph could feel the sadness rolling off him.

"Leo… why did you have to die?" Raph suddenly found himself asking the question as his surroundings froze, as he noticed some birds in the sky that were in mid flight.

It was happening again; a memory was going off course, yet this one was different, this time he was the culprit, not Leo.

In bracing himself for the hideous thing to replace his brother, surprisingly, Leo didn't shift or changed before his eyes, neither did he turn around to focus on Raph with this question that hung in the air.

The minutes, turning to hours, Raph waited. Seeing Leo not answering him or giving any sign, he heard the question at that. Hesitantly, Raph slowly made a step forward, collecting his courage that would give him the strength to press on without hesitation or doubt.

Only inches from touching his shoulder, the darkness rolled in from every direction possible, taking Raph by surprise as he stumbled backwards to avoid it touching him more, screaming on how it burned over his exposed skin.

**~Flash Back done~**

With a scream Raph flung forwards startling the unexpected brother who yelped in terror, stumbling over his feet looking for the fire, only to see Raph bent over breathing heavily sweating buckets.

Mikey reviving from the sudden awakening, quickly moved to put his supporting hands around his scared brother trying his best to soothe him.

With a light warming voice, Mikey addressed the trembling turtle, "Raph it's okay. You had a nightmare and almost gave me a heart attack to boot." Mikey suddenly chuckled to lighten the thick drowning air.

Nodding Raph didn't dare to tell his little brother what it was about or how he truly felt inside, passing it off as such, a normal nightmare.

"Yeah… Sorry Mikey, I didn't mean to wake you like that," Raph ghostly said, feeling his words weak and transparent just the way he felt at the moment.

"Is there something I can do for you?" Mikey asked.

Raph biting his lip gave it consideration before answering, "Yes, is it possible that you and Donnie let me go out, at least for a walk? Alone so I can get some fresh air?"

Tightening his lips, Mikey wasn't too fond of that idea, especially the alone part, not that he didn't trust Raph, it was more on what if something happens to him?

"Well… I…" Mikey stuttered, then flashed a look up just noticing Donnie had taken a seat observing them both.

Clearing his throat, Mikey turned his attention to Donnie, "What do you think?

The protective brother who has taken the role of the head of the household, leaned his head into his hand reading Raph suspiciously.

"Depends. Where are you planning to go? Are you aware that too much activity could do you more harm than good?" Donnie pointed out avoiding the plan yes or no approach.

Tilting his head at the brother, Raph sighed treading carefully, he didn't need Donnie to get any impression, there was more to this, then he was letting on.

"I was thinking of going to the park nearby, the one that doesn't get used much during the night," Raph answered, making sure to keep direct contact, otherwise he could be showing signs there might be another agenda coming to play.

The way Donnie shifted in his seat over this, only made him nervous, making Raph question what was going through the brother's mind.

Has he caught Raph red handed or was he actually contemplating if it was a wise idea to let him venture out that night?

The moments rolled on then Donnie let out a sigh, falling for Raph's pitiful state and making him feel guilty not letting the brother to have more freedom.

"I will allow it…" Donnie started; being interrupted by Raph's excitement that only slapped on the guilt thicker over the younger brother's head.

"Really?" Raph said quickly then stop noticing Donnie wasn't finished, yet he couldn't help it; he thought Donnie wouldn't be so easy to convince since months ago over what happened at Casey's and him running off.

Luckily, they bought at the time Raph just lost it and went for a walk returning home not too long after.

Little did they know he just came back from making a deal with Karai.

Even so, Donnie only became stricter with the rules and that was when he announced he was going to be the head of the household, not Raph. Which in truth Raph didn't want it anyways, so that actually didn't bother him at all.

Clearing his throat, Donnie nodded slowly before continuing on what he was going to say before the interruption, "I will allow it if you promise me to bring your shell cell, as well it is best you bring your sai, but by no means do you go off to pick a fight! You hear me Raph; they are a last option in the case you get into any trouble."

Smiling, feeling like this was the best moment of his life, Raph agreed to eagerly only making Donnie feel horrible over his past decisions and rules.

Did he pry Raph too much from simple things like this, that he was happier than Mikey on Tuesday night pizza and games, to have a night of fresh air?

* * *

With finally a consent to leave the lair Raph headed to the park as he promised, he wasn't an idiot and recalled the cell had a GPS built in.

Not just that as memory served him that this particular park not only was very secluded it had a working phone booth, and he knew how to make it work without change.

Reaching the park by a nearby manhole, Raph fumbled with the shell cell wondering where would be a good location to drop it off to fool his brothers that he was still at the park.

There were many locations, and he wanted one that would make sense of him staying put in one spot, let alone a place he could hide the cell so no one would pick it up.

Biting his lip after discarding at least ten spots that look promising yet made no lick of sense; finally, Raph found a nice bushy spot that was ideal to ditch the cell and would be good enough that someone would take a break at.

Now onto the second part of this hopefully solid plan, to call Karai and tell her tonight was going to be the night; no ifs or buts.

He didn't want a signal moment more with it inside him, and the dreams were more than taking their toll on him.

Once in the booth, Raph made his move quickly picking at the coin slot, so he could borrow some cash to make the call.

Sure, he could have used the cell, but for two good reasons he didn't dare. One was letting Karai to have his number, which wasn't going to happen, the other, he couldn't be certain Donnie didn't tap it to listen in or record who he was calling.

The less he waves the red flags the more likely he would go through this without a hitch.

With enough change to use Raph picked up the phone readying himself to make the call only to stop seeing someone watching him from the distance.

It wasn't the fact someone was there that disturbed him; it was for he swore he recognized the figure from the night at Casey's roof. It couldn't be the same hooded guy could it?

Slowly setting the phone on the hook Raph moved his free hand to his side, ready to grab his sai if needed.

If this was the same man, Raph got the sickening feeling that he wasn't the friendly type, nor one that would be willing to have just a nice chat, avoiding any provocation of violence.

"Well make your move asshole," Raph whispered beneath his breath.

Just as he could see the man taking some steps forward, Raph suddenly jumped in surprise hearing a rap-ata-tat behind him.

Wildly the turtle turned around, blinking at the foot ninja who stood outside the booth unsure if he should step back flashing a look at Raph stance and hand that was now firmly gripping his sai.

Ignoring the ninja which was the most bizarre thing he had ever done to one, he looked back in the direction he swore he saw the man last only finding the area had no sign of him.

Feeling like he had lost it, Raph growled leaving the phone booth flashing a look at the ninja who just stood there not arming nor showing any sign of defending himself.

"What do you want," Raph snarled watching the area the hooded man was through the corner of his eye, trying to figure out where he went and if the ninja spotted him too. Not that Raph would dare ask, that would be a sign of weakness.

"Karai sent me," the ninja informed.

"I was going to call her," Raph admitted, wondering how long this guy has been following him, was he getting that rusty?

"She assumed that was your action and was aware that if you're looking for her, then its time?"

"Yeah... But she'd better keep her end of the fucken bargain!" Raph demanded.

Nodding the ninja pointed to his left, "She will, as long as you do the same. I'm here to escort you to an awaiting vehicle we have in place, which will bring you to a secure location to get this done."

Feeling a bit nervous on willing to follow a foot ninja Raph only sighed to himself, he knew in order for this to go smoothly he would have to cooperate without question or hesitation.

"Fine, lead the way," Raph commended letting the ninja take the lead as he followed behind.

* * *

It wasn't long until they arrived at the waiting car that was actually a limo, something Raph wasn't suspecting at all, thinking this would go down with some black van not with some style for someone like him!

The ninja who was escorting him suddenly disappeared among the shadows just as the door to the limo open up to invite him in.

Swallowing hard Raph slid within, muttering beneath his breath, "Well here we go… a date with the devil.


	10. Final Chapter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (TMNT CC are AU based on 2003 version, the turtles are 23)  
> Warning (Rated: M) Disturbing Content, Foul Language, M-Preg?, Character Death,  
> Please Don’t Read if you don’t like this stuff.  
> Disclaimer: TMNT isn’t mine and this is just a fan fiction writing. No money is being made on this story.  
> Summary: Raph is devastated over the lost of his brother, lost in his confusion on how to move on Raph finds himself at a cross roads with choices he never thought he would have to make.

* * *

Taking a steady breath, Raph stared toward the ceiling, trying not to look directly into the light that to his relief didn't flicker or buzz shrouding his current predicament into some horror movie scene.

After his nice ride he had to admit it was something new and wasn't half bad, the driver brought him to an old building that its inside interior was a far improvement compared to its outside exterior, that gave the place no justice.

Once arrived, Karai was waiting for him, holding a contract agreeing that the foot will do what she claimed the night that the deal was made; in exchange for the child, he was caring in return.

Looking over it quickly, Raph wasn't much one for such diplomacy and hoped it didn't have anything to do with turtle soup in the end.

Signing it and watching Karai sign after, she introduced Raph to the doctor, who was going to perform the surgery, whom would go through step by step on how this was going to work so there weren't any surprises for Raph.

It was a simple procedure; they wouldn't put him under, but sedate him, so he is fully aware of what is going on without the pain. Other words, they were doing a C section to gain access to the egg and avoid any damage to his body.

The only way they could perform this was going through his side since any other entry way would result in Raph having his plasteron cut. In the end, the doctor appeared to be very knowledgeable to Raph's mutant body which disturbed him slightly, after the explanation assuring him that unlike a human undergoing this surgery, he would be up and moving sooner and wouldn't be surprised he started healing right away.

Even so, Raph was still a bit concerned after the procedure, over if he would be mobile enough to get home. The doctor understanding this, wasn't worried and suggested a strong painkiller if he wanted it, warning the turtle that he will not feel the pain, however, he was best not to overexert his body, and he would have to make sure not to rip the stitches open either.

All said and done Raph just lay there feeling the man's hand opening him up; it was nerve reckoning, and he had to distract himself in order not to dwell on how unsettling this was.

To his surprise, it ended quicker than he anticipated having the doctor telling him it was over as he bandaged Raph up.

"So that's it?" Raph asked stunned, he was suspecting that monstrosity coming out of him would start something yet nothing happened.

"Yes the egg," the doctor pointed towards an incubator that held a lone egg, making Raph feel a rush of guilt as part of him began to have second thoughts. Was this the right choice?

Continuing the doctor went towards his surgical tools that were on a tray nearby, "It's very healthy, very healthy indeed… my god will be notorious in all his glory!"

Blinking at the sudden change in the doctor's demeanor, Raph wasn't sure if he was hearing things, did this guy just say his god?

Before Raph could think it through, the doctor turned around holding some ritualistic blade lunging towards Raph to stab the dagger into his chest.

Panicking and taken off guard for suddenly being attacked, with some luck on his side, he was able to fall backwards off the medical table scrambling to his feet to catch the crazy eyes of the once kind looking doctor, that was now hungry for blood.

It was like looking at some messed up version of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, one second he was performing surgery and didn't show any malice, now was some psychopath wanting to drive that dagger into his heart!

"Shell, what the fuck!" Raph barked, feeling the sting of betrayal.

He should have known Karai wouldn't keep her word doing him in, once she had the opportunity. Worse, she couldn't do the dirty work herself, getting this guy to do it, keeping her blade clean of the deed.

"Your blood will give my god strength! You the father, of our god's body will be his offering!" the lunatic hysterically pointed out, grinning unnaturally.

"What are you talking about?" Raph demanded, wildly looking for something to defend himself.

"Foolish creature! Have you not felt my god's grip on you? Did he not speak to you?" the man rushed forward raising the dagger high to strike Raph once again.

With all his power, Raph held the human's hand feeling his side burning wildly over this.

His body wasn't ready for any physical activity, and it protested against it.

Locked in this struggle, no matter what the turtle did, he couldn't get the upper hand.

Raph blamed his weaken state over his surgery, yet a sinking feeling came over him that oddly this man was matching his strength and even was surpassing it.

"You fucken nutcase, I don't know what you're talking about!" Raph growled his answer.

"Your brother was the key sacrifice for our god's rebirth!" the man cooed in his madness.

The words cold and heartless, was like a sharp blade piercing his very soul, making Raph almost lose his grip over the man's arm that held the dagger.

Feeling like his world just shattered more than it was when he thought Leo's death was some enemy revenge or accident at best, Raph's eyes widened in pure terror and animosity towards this human.

"The foot was behind LEO'S DEATH!" Raph growled like a savage beast, feeling his adrenaline taking over allowing him to push with all his might forward forcing the man to smash into a nearby wall.

Unfazed by the pain he should have been enduring, the man smiled more amused by Raph's anger, making Raph wanted to slam his fist into the smug face, "The foot? Those fools had nothing to do with it! It was us, we the ones that walk in our god's light, sacrifice the blue turtle demon, in order that you the red turtle demon will give birth to our god to bring judgment onto this undeserving world!"

Overwhelmed by his locked up anger that has been building up for months, Raph roared over the ridicules ranting from this lunatic shoving his fist into the man's gut, "You bastard! Fuck you and your god, then!"

Taking the man, Raph threw him across the room with all his strength he could muster, he had to end this madness, he was sick of it all.

The dreams, the things he did, so were all this time because they killed his brother, sacrificing him to their so-called god, and he just gave birth to it!

Rushing to the incubator Raph grab a scalpel hearing the man behind him trying to stumble back to his feet, crying out for someone to help and stop Raph from killing their god.

Slamming the lid open Raph hovered over the innocent egg that deep down he knew it was vile since the beginning, raising his hand in the air.

First, though before stabbing the thing to death, Raph placed his free hand on the egg to show this abomination he was the one that was going to end this.

He was the one that was going to get revenge for his brother's death!

****_~Flash back?~_  
  
The lake laid before him, the one at the farm as Raph started to recall this very memory, that was all too familiar.  
Wasn't this the first that went wrong spiraling him into hellish nightmares that kept plaguing him? Was this their god that was going to be born over his brother's life that was stolen?!

Advancing forward Raph didn't say hi, or call Leo's name; this wasn't Leo, and he was going to face the bastard behind it all, to tell it he was going to enjoy taking its life for his brother.

The angry turtle with no hesitation slammed his hand onto the turtle in question shoulder, only to freeze in an instant as those gray eyes fell upon his golden ones making him tremble in his wake.

They were kind filled with energy in the likes he hasn't seen since before his brother's death. No memory that he faced the pass months show so much life as they were now. It was like this wasn't a memory, but reality and his brother was alive and well.

Choking out the words that stumbled over his tongue Raph could feel the tears running down his cheeks, "Leo?"

Smiling the turtle turned around placing his hands-on Raph's face warmly, rubbing it with his thumb, "Raph do you trust me?"

Shrouded in confusion, Raph blinked wildly over the ridicules question, "Yes of course; I do!"

"Then... Live Raph! Don't let them fool you; they want you to sacrifice me..." Leo told him after that started to trail off as a horrifying expression washed over him like something was behind Raph.

"Leo what... what is wrong?" Raph attempted to look back merely to have Leo hold his head in place, in order to force Raph to face him only.

Shaking his head, tears streamed down as Raph could smell the fear rolling off of him, "Raph don't look at it! Don't acknowledge it! Don't listen to its lies. You know, deep down," Leo placed his hand on Raph's heart, "What is the truth; you have always known... that is why you hated me so much, for it scared you… That I might still be with you, and you couldn't understand how that was possible, thinking your guilt was haunting you. However, all I wanted was you to know I was here… and I never left you, not for a second…"

"Leo?" Raph started only to have his brother wrapped his arms around him holding him tightly.

"Raph listen to your heart, make the right decision! I know you can do it… Please wake up now!" Leo ordered him.

**_~Flash back ended~_ **

Snapping out of his daze, Raph's hand shook that held the scalpel, as his other hand felt the egg in his confusion.

Before he could collect his thoughts, Raph caught the tail end of a blade that was aiming for the egg. With his shell, he defended it, feeling his arm flare-up in a hot pain while the blade dig deep down, catching his plastron making it crack.

On the serving side of the blade he could hear Karai gasp in her own puzzlement that Raph was protecting the egg of all things, "Raphael. Why did you do that?! That thing is their god! They murdered all my men and are going to resurrect something that will kill us all!"

Throwing a snarl at the human that also fell for the tricks, Raph glanced at the blade indicating to her to take it out of his damn arm already.

Doing so Karai took a swift look towards the doctor, she thought she could trust lying there on the floor, foaming from the mouth and his body jerking wildly having some seizure.

Even Raph took a quick look unsure what happened to him for a second ago he was some nutcase that just wouldn't give up, now was dead as his body stopped moving altogether.

Pushing that question to the side, Raph refocused back on the female ninja.

"It's not their god," Raph assured her picking up the egg, ignoring his shoulder that still hurt like hell accompanied with his side.

"Raphael we both know that thing is unnatural and..." Karai started then was interrupted by Raph as he realized she knew more than she let on.

"Karai what do you know!" Raph demanded, finding something soft to wrap the egg with to keep it warm as the human eyed it, debating what she should do, not too pleased with the idea of harming Raph in the process.

"We found out about this ritual a while back that these cultists used on both, you and your brother. They were the ones that set it up that Leo would be sacrificed before you, making you the target to be the one to give birth to their god. At first, we thought it was some sick joke until we realized you were pregnant. It's obvious that isn't possible!"

"And you believe that information? Is that why you made that deal? Why did you wait until I was close to my term? Not terminating it beforehand?" Raph asked, finding a nice sheet wrapping the fragile egg carefully as he could.

Narrowing her eyes, disgusted that Raph was coddling the thing that took Leo's life she snarled, "If we'd destroyed it before you laid it, it would have brought forth a plague like no other! So we had to wait and... and… Raphael give me that demon, so we can end this now!" Karai barked the order, coming forward only to have Raph move out of her reach.

"No! The deal is off Karai; you're not going to lay a finger on my child!" Raph snapped in anger.

"Raphael you're a fool!" the female ninja proclaimed readying herself to fight the turtle pushing aside her dislike over this action, the world's fate was in the balance.

"No Karai you're the fool to fall into their tricks! What would bring their god to this world is by killing LEO!" Raph screamed at the human.

Feeling the frustration growing of this pointless argument, Karai was about to strike down the turtle, only to suddenly freeze in her attack over Raph's next words to her, "I didn't think it at first... not wanting to believe it since it did scare me, denying what was actually going on. However, the truth was before my eyes. Every time I was upset, I kept getting flashbacks of the past. They were small reminders to support me, to help me get through whatever I was facing at the moment. It was Leo's way to communicate to me. As their god in its own way whispered into my ear, telling me to kill this child... Karai, this child isn't their god, it's Leo! They wanted us to sacrifice Leo's soul to feed their god, allowing it to take over this new body, don't you see that!"

Looking at his egg, Raph finally understood it all, "Their god probably couldn't just take anybody… That is why this went down the way it has... A life lost equals a life gain, Leo lost his life to gain another, and they wanted me to give Leo's new life to their god by killing the one I love so much."

Lowering her blade, Karai's hands shook reaching toward the small bundle, seeing that she too was looking for the truth, Raph allowed her, watching her eyes water.

Taking a step back the ninja nodded, "The deal is off Raphael, you are best to leave the city now before anyone knows you're still alive and the child as well."

"Karai?" Raph tilted his head at her unsure what she was doing.

Lowing her head in shame, Karai closed her eyes, "I was a fool to be led on as well, I now see what you mean. I don't understand how this is possible, but I do believe. Raph answer me this, how do you know their god will not force your hand later, if it has already whispered into your ear?"

Smiling Raph wasn't worried, "Easy I acknowledge Leo not that thing, so it can't touch me now. I trust Leo's words that he told me."

He knew, deep down, that was the key, what Leo was telling him. This whole time he believed this child was some abomination allowing that thing to have some power over him.

However, now that he had no doubt in his mind this was Leo, it couldn't influence him anymore, and he trusted his brother more than anything.

Nodding the ninja didn't argue, "Fine then go, and leave like I said and never return to the city if you want to keep yourself and your family safe."

"Why are you doing this Karai?" Raph had to know why she would spare him or believe him.

"I owe him. This is my way to repay a debt long due. Now go! I'm going to burn this place to the ground so no one will know the truth. There is a passage to the sewers in the basement. Take it and grab your brothers and leave and stay safe..." Karai left the room without another word.

"I see." Raph could only answer taking her advice and escaping the building underground smelling the smoke that seeped down towards the sewers. Now, as far anyone was concerned, he was dead and so was his child, giving him the opportunity to start anew and not have anyone hunting them.

* * *

**_2 Weeks later_ **

Sitting there with the sun on his shell and the shade over head, Raph relaxed under the old tree at the farmhouse. It's been weeks since he came home holding the egg, claiming it as his child. Which that news did bring much joy to both Donnie and Mikey until Raph explained half the story what went down, and they had to leave.

It didn't take them long to pack up and head for the farm. Raph purposely kept the sacrifice bullshit and Leo being reborn to himself; he figured both brothers have gone through enough, to add this to the mix. It was best to leave that secret in the past and look forward to the future avoiding complications.

A future Raph was going to make sure Leo's dreams come true.

"Hey Raphie is it ready?" Mikey asked, swinging upside down on a branch with his bandana swiping over Raph's head in annoyance.

"Mikey, stop asking!" Raph huffed, staring at the egg that was protected inside his crossed legs.

Donnie did determine it would be a matter of days until the infant would hatch out of his shell and every passing moment only built the anxiety in Mikey making him more unbearable than normal.

"Well tell him or she to hurry up!" Mikey beamed poking Raph on the top of the head loving how frustrated Raph was getting.

"I told you, it's a he; the child is going to be a boy, and I can't tell it to hurry up," Raph snapped his head up growling, then focused back to the egg, talking towards it more than Mikey, "Not that I haven't asked him to…"

"I wouldn't worry Raph, she… rrr…he will hatch when he is ready," Donnie pointed out taking a seat beside Raph then rolling his eyes at Mikey was yet again monkeying around like a goofball.

"Yeah, I know Donnie… Huh?" Raph started, then paused, hearing a car coming down the dirt road towards them, making him stiffen up fearing it was someone lost or someone did figure out he wasn't dead and tracked him down.

Then to his relief he recognized the popping noises and almost laughed over how Mikey sucker Casey to use that death trap of a car.

The point Mikey brought up was that it would be perfect to use on the trips back and forth from New York to avoid suspicion.

How could you avoid noticing that noisy vehicle that had its own special way to turn heads, was beyond him.

Turning towards the house, the car stopped abruptly wheezing as it did.

April who was in the passenger's side, without a second thought rushed out for dear life gasping for air using her knees to support her.

Pointing at the rust bucket her eyes narrow in frustration, "Casey you better take the time to clean inside that thing, or I will walk back home!"

"April it's not so bad," Casey answered getting out rolling his eyes over the drama queen.

"Like hell it isn't! You had been in there too long that your sense of smell is gone! It's disgusting, are you sure nothing died in it?"

Letting out some chuckles while watching the drama unfolding the brothers became amused, it was interesting to watch those two bicker like two old married couple over the funniest and sometimes bizarre subjects.

Raph placing his hand on the egg, suddenly stopped laughing as he realized something was going on.

Flashing a look down his heart jump in joy as, he couldn't contain his excitement, "IT'S TIME!"

Stopping their argument in mid flight, Casey and April exchanged looks rushing over toward the brother as Mikey jumped from the tree leaning against Raph's shell peering over his shoulder.

"SO so?" Mikey said quickly only to have Donnie putting his hand over his mouth to stop him from pestering anymore.

The egg vibrating started to crack as a small green hand poked through and the sounds a crying came from within. Raph not sure what he should do, look towards Donnie for guidance as the young brother nodded, giving Raph permission to help the little turtle.

Carefully Raph removed the pieces one by one, making sure none capsized, placing them to the side.

In a matter of minutes, the egg was mostly taken apart, leaving a little turtle that wailed a hale storm kicking and grasping the air.

Slowly Raph gently as he could, placed one hand under the child's neck to support it and then moved his other to hold the child comfortably in his arm. Instantly the child ended its crying taking Raph's thumb to suckle on.

With a smile, Raph couldn't hold the tears as he kissed the newborn over the head lovingly.

"So what is it? A he or she?" Mikey excitedly asked, pulling Donnie's hand away to speak properly.

"A boy," Raph announced as the human friends knelt down to get a better look at the new addition to the family.

"What is his name," April asked next tickling the infant's cheek, which cooed at her in response.

His smile brightening more, knowing what they would think, but he didn't care; Raph gave his new child the name he knew was best, "Leonardo."

**_Fin_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For I had a poll over how this story should go I want with the happy ending over the painful one. I hope you all enjoyed the twist :)  
> ~Samsponknight~


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